Single personals Hearts
I just need to put my thoughts down for someone to see
2020.12.04 08:24 throwRA19872617 I just need to put my thoughts down for someone to see
I have extreme addictive tendencies and multiple drug addictions I'm currently working through. I also think that I have anxiety and / or depression but I'm not sure because I refuse to tell anybody close to me about any of it. I know that's probably the worst thing I could be doing right now, but for the past 2 nights I thought I had found the solution to all my problems. a friend I knew from about 3 years ago got in touch needing help getting through a breakup. she didn't want her relationship to end and she still says she completely loves her ex. she said she just needed someone to listen to her, which I was willing to do. now is probably a good time to mention that I also feel unable to trust people, but I have no idea why. anyway, I stayed up with her on facetime until 5:00 A.M. two nights in a row, and in that tiny span of a about 10 hours we took turns venting to each other about anything and everything. I'm sure it was partly because of drug use at the time and every waking moment since then, but I became completely addicted to this girl. it was the most magical experience I've ever had, spilling my heart out to another broken soul. she is the only other human on this planet that I can confide in with complete honesty. but tonight she didn't want to talk. I know it's awful to be so dependent on a single person, especially since I haven't spoken to her in person in years. but I could tell from the second she started talking that we were fighting the same demons. I feel as though I need her to survive now. right now as I'm typing this I am shaking so bad at the thought of having to once again shut everything inside my head and not having the comfort of knowing someone personally going through the same experience. I want this girl to be mine forever, I want to help her with all her problems and hold her close to me and for both of us to know that everything will be okay. but like I said she cannot move on from her ex, which I understand. but I now feel like if I can't have this anymore, there's no point to life anymore. I won't commit suicide, but suicide and this girl are all I can think about since 9:36 P.M. tonight when she said she didn't want to talk tonight. I would never want to be selfish with another person, and I of course want only the best for her. but I am just lost right now, my whole body is shaking thinking about the torture that lays ahead for what feels like eternity. I know all these feelings are temporary but I just needed to get this off my chest. if for some reason you read this whole thing, I just want to personally thank you for your time.
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2020.12.04 08:18 andrewluuze Welcome to r/luuzers. Read this post to learn a little more about my app and what I'm trying to do.
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Hi, I'm Andrew Luu, creator of the Luuze app. I used to be in terrible health
, with life-threatening blood pressure, largely because I was class II obese. I never felt it was important to lose weight, and even if I wanted to, based on all the statistics and the information I read on the internet, I figured losing weight and keeping it off was next to impossible. Why even try?
As an engineer though, I knew deep in my heart that this problem was solvable. Engineers like to break down problems to their root cause, and once I did, I realized that weight loss was possible. The reason people failed was they were focusing on the wrong thing (diet/exercise). If instead, people focused on the root cause of weight gain, what I now call the Weight Management Feedback Loop
, they could lose weight. In fact, they could lose weight even without exercise or restrictive diets!
I set out to fix the problem for myself and was able to do it, losing 100 pounds
. Because I addressed the root cause of the problem as well, I kept the weight off. My life was transformed. As I transformed, people naturally asked me, how did I do it? When I told them, many of them actually started to lose weight themselves.
There was this nagging idea in my head that I was onto something. If only I knew what I knew about weight loss now in my 20s. If only others did! The idea kept on growing bigger and bigger, and I just felt compelled to try to find a way to help others lose weight the same way that I did. I ended up leaving my job, learning how to program, and created Luuze.
I feel insane half the time, because my job was pretty awesome. But people don't have ideas, ideas have people, and this idea that I could help others transform their lives like I did mine was so big that I needed to do it.
Weight loss is a complicated subject and there is no one solution out there for everyone. I recognize that my app is not a magic pill that will help every single person out there lose weight. But even in its infancy, it has helped people lose weight, keep it off, and my philosophy on weight loss is one that I fully stand behind. I think if you've been struggling to lose weight, it's worth giving the app a try, and since you're reading this, to use this subreddit for all your questions on weight loss, of which I'll try to answer.
Anyways, all that to say that I created this subreddit because one of the app users inspired me to do so, and I hope that it can be a community where people come for support on their weight loss journey and to help others with theirs. This stuff is all new to me so I'm figuring it all out, but I'm excited to see where it all goes. It would be a privilege for me to help you on your weight loss journey do don't hesitate to reach out! https://preview.redd.it/pjq7345gi4361.png?width=1398&format=png&auto=webp&s=371deaa7b9b1bc52065c78ccb70ec3aef75c92c9
2020.12.04 07:29 ThrowRapplecider My (20F) ex (21M) made me out to be crazy despite disturbing info by him
I’m posting anonymously for clear reasons, but my ex was awful to me. We started talking as friends when I had gotten out of a relationship where I was cheated on and I told him that I was not ready for a relationship, so then he proceeded to ask me out 5 times and even guilt tripped me by using the “I’ve never had a gf. Never done something like this before.” Anyways, I said yes because I felt bad. I wasn’t in the head space for a relationship so it didn’t start off on the right foot at all . It was doomed to begin with.
We were good the first three months. Then, he went back to college and I had some anxiety like normal and when I’d see him, he’d obviously stare at other women who were ... blonde. I’m not blonde. It was so bad , he would turn his head. I eventually vocalized how I felt and he denied doing it and told me I could be misinterpreting him looking at something else / he doesn’t realize if he’s doing it. He did it multiple times after that despite saying he’d try to change. I get there’s other beautiful women, and idc if you look, but not obviously .
Eventually, one of his friends started coming over and one time she called him while we were watching a movie and he left to go answer it. It was late , around 11 pm. Then, he’s on the phone for 25 min. She comes over one time and asks for someone to feed her an Oreo and he does it. I explained why it bothered me because I took it as flirting and he said that he does it with all his friends (have not seen him do it once since lol or prior) , it’s no big deal. I began feeling quite paranoid and decided to try to hang out with her one on one to try to see if I was being crazy. She wouldn’t. She was always too busy, but she’d hang out with him or their friend group. I time and time again vocalized how much I just wanted him to set better boundaries with her . But it turned into “ill just stop hanging out with her and avoid her .” Which isn’t what I wanted . Because the situation was never actually handled, it fueled my insecurities.
I began talking to guys as friends who were interested in me and I became super paranoid and unfortunately started looking through his phone and laptop to the point where I was getting ill. My mental health began deteriorating. I’d never felt so scared to lose someone. I became severely depressed and also because I felt like my feelings weren’t heard , I became controlling . Which isn’t his fault , it’s mine, i should’ve ended it. I didn’t want him to leave me because I was scared of him and her doing something. No matter how much I asked him to just set boundaries , he didn’t. The boundaries he set at first by cutting her off, made me look like a complete asshole and didn’t help how I felt . I wanted harmony.
We were talking in the car one day and he confided in me he had thoughts about raping and killing his siblings and parents. I almost broke up with him over it, but I didn’t because I looked up about intrusive thoughts and it came that they’re normal. I’ve had intrusive thoughts but not like those. I couldn’t imagine. I tried to comfort him about it , but it was always in the back of my mind .
Anyways, a lot of drama happened. We started fighting a lot and I burned up a letter he wrote me and it was just super toxic. I will say 100% I was in the wrong multiple times , as I have BP2 and was not in treatment at the time but didn’t realize i had it until my recent diagnosis . Fast forward and we’re actually doing okay , or so I think. I have a dream he’s on a trip and meets a girl and leaves me. At the time of the dream, he is in WV with his friends for an annual event. I had a feeling so I texted and asked if he has feelings of breaking up with me and he said “no. I would never do that. I love you.”... a couple hours pass and he breaks up with me, over text , after 1.5 years , the same week my sister overdosed and was put in the ICU (which I had a severe mental breakdown over and was very mean to him the day I found out- later apologized but still).
I asked who she was and he said no one . He comes to get stuff from my apartment and I grab his phone and he’s heart reacting this girls memes lol and she has pics of him everywhere on her social media from that trip. They are clearly flirting. Fine. So I just start having a mental breakdown . He says he wants to date me again and then dumps me the next day ... again... over text WHILE IM AT HIS HOUSE AND HES IN CLASS. He had time to break up with me that morning .
So after the breakup , I apologized for things I did without pushing blame . He didn’t . I took the fall for it all. He completely was cold. It was as if a mask had fallen off and he was a different person. He’d want to hang out but was off. He kept telling me if I didn’t fix my mental illness we couldn’t be together . So I went to therapy . He’d ignore me and then talk to me when it was convenient . I had no friends at this time . My family isn’t supportive either so I didn’t have anyone to talk to really. I ended with a BAD concussion from the accident and was doing the worst mentally I’ve ever done. And I was texting him one day and it didn’t say delivered and I immediately assumed he blocked me and I think I snapped. I felt so upset that he had just been having the time of his life, acting like I didn’t matter, invalidated me, I felt as if I was nothing , I felt unlovable, and I did the worst thing I’ve ever done. I went to confront him and then the girl he’d been flirting with comes out what looks like his back door (later would learn it was his neighbors) and I flip shit. My first mistake was going there . I got out of the cars and punched my fist through his bedroom windows. I was raging.
Then I left and he messaged me a week later asking why I did that , then saying it was funny and he wasn’t mad- which he said was to make me not feel bad . I immediately felt awful . I have apologized more times I can count . I go to Texas to get away for a little and while I’m there, I’m doing a little better, and I tell him I’m finished talking . His friend had passed away and he goes into telling me how his friend had just passed away and how he was really upset and it made him realize life is short, etc. So I kept talking to him because I didn’t want to lose him.
I go back to my state and we are talking daily still but we’re not flirting or anything . One night, I can’t remember exactly what it was, but we get in a big fight and I tell him how I’m not the only fucked up one because (insert his Intrusive thoughts). We didn’t talk for awhile after that.
We begin talking again and he told me it’s going to take awhile to forgive me. We’re on ok terms, we fight as friends still because we both have resentment . I continue to tell him I don’t think it’s a good idea to be friends and he keeps saying he loves talking to me but it’s up to me so I keep on because I care about him. He keeps giving me false hope too but then eventually it turns and he starts telling me how I shouldn’t expect us to be together , he might not want to be in the future he doesn’t know. So I’d explain to him my feelings and he’d just say he’s not ready . Eventually, he goes out w someone else , despite not being ready. I consistently told him he just doesn’t like me and he said he did but couldn’t forgive me.
We went out of state for our summer jobs and he told me he’d be gone out of Utah , which is far from where I live , for 2 days and would keep me updated. I was prepared for that and was okay with that. That turned into 5 -6 days... I had no plans to be alone in another state that long. My grandfather had to dish out money for hotels and I felt very uncomfortable in a state that long by myself . I had a major mental breakdown but told him I’d be okay and he leaves his friends in Wyoming to come see me and then repeatedly told me how I ruined his trip and how he told me and how he’s not responsible for me or my safety .
We came back and he called me telling me he didn’t want to try anymore . I cried a lot and I brought up how he told me to go to therapy and he never did and it was weird. He said he would. He went 4 times and stopped. And said he figured everything he needed out and it was validating . He went to be validated not to fix his issues. Anyways, last time we saw each other, we had planned to dress up nice and see a drive in movie. I spent that time making a 3- course dinner, painting a 20 hour landscape painting of our trip even though it was awful, dressed up very pretty all during my busiest. Week of school when I’m taking 16 credit hours , and when he came , he forgot the gift he supposedly bought me, the only thing I told him to bring, and he didn’t dress up. Then he got to my apartment and started under the table insulting me and didn’t compliment me until I brought it up. He didn’t try to have an interesting conversation and it ended up in me asking him to take me home. I called him that night and told him I didn’t want to try to date ever again and he goes “why is it something I did?” And I explained It to him and later when I bring this up, he tells me he was only wanting to hang out as friends ... then why did you ask why I didn’t want to date again or try to?
Anyways, he got a gf recently and it was very upsetting. I had a super bad emotional reaction to it when he told me (we agreed to tell each other) and I figured since he’d been ignoring me , despite telling me he wouldn’t if he did get a gf. I just word vomited all of my feelings and he ignored all of what I said and only said he’s sorry if he ever hurt me, but it wasnt intentional. I exploded and said EVERYTHING possible to hurt him . He told me he never caused me any mental health issues and it was all in my head . That he never did anything to hurt me. I said some rlly awful things to him and we aren’t talking . I feel so destroyed by this relationship. I’m not upset he’s dating , I just lost all of my self esteem and myself when I was dating him. I’ve never been this crushed after a relationship. I’ve consistently came off as crazy and I hate how he can just live life happily while I’m so sad and upset . He’s also never properly apologized but I don’t think he believes he has hurt me. Also I was always super insecure about white blondes since he’d stare at them and I’m a brunette who’s biracial and he would tell me he doesnt like blondes but now he’s dating one. It’s soul crushing. How do I get through this and not make the same mistake? Also are his thoughts normal or indicative of something else? Am I crazy? It’s been a year and two months since our breakup.
TL; DR: ex and I had an extremely toxic relationship . I made MANY mistakes I take full accountability for . How do I get through this? And how do I not make the same mistakes? I’ve been single a year and two months and am not pursuing a serious relationship yet, he has a gf.
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2020.12.04 07:14 desperion GIFTED CLASS
Before Jesus healed the blind men in today’s Gospel, they had the gift of faith (Mt 9:28
). After they received sight from Jesus, they disobeyed His orders to keep the healing secret. Instead, the formerly blind men spread word of Jesus “through the whole area” (Mt 9:31
) before Jesus was ready for that to happen.
On another occasion, Jesus healed a leper (Mk 1:41
) who also had humility and faith. Once healed, this leper likewise disobeyed Jesus’ order to keep the healing secret (Mk 1:44
). He went off and spread the report abroad with the result “that it was no longer possible for Jesus to enter a town openly” (Mk 1:45
). Jesus subsequently had to live in deserted places.
Like the folks above, many of us have been blessed with healings and faith. Will we also have a single-hearted love for Jesus? It’s wonderful to benefit from the good gifts God gives. However, those who love Jesus with all their heart (Lk 10:27
) are more concerned with what Jesus gets out of a gift than with how they personally benefit. They ask: “Is Jesus pleased with the outcome of the gift He gave me? Will His kingdom grow as a result?” Prayer:
: Jesus, You have so many good gifts to give me. May I not be given these gifts until I am ready to receive them in a way that gives glory to You. Quickly, make me ready to receive. Promise:
“The lowly will ever find joy in the Lord, and the poor rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.” —Is 29:19 Praise:
St. John of Damascus lived most of his life as a monk. He is a highly respected theologian and defended the practice of honoring icons of the saints. He prayed, “Let Your good Spirit guide me along the straight path. Whatever I do, let it be in accordance with Your will, now until the end.”
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2020.12.04 06:54 digitallyfree [See What I Can't See] - Chapter 13
- Next /digitallyfreestories Yeah, I’d made fun of amps in the past. Ditto for wands, staves, and any items that claimed to improve one’s power. Thomas had drilled deep into my mind that a mage who relied on equipment was a useless one. Even gestures and words associated with a spell were frowned upon - ideally everything was done mentally.
Technology changed things though, and Sarah knew it. At the time, the searing ripples of force echoing through the room were the only things on my mind. It was only months later, staring at the recovered Burns security footage, that I knew what happened.
A K-series amplifier contained a supercapacitor, which was normally charged up by its battery pack. The stored energy would boost one’s powers when casting through the system. A lesser-known operation mode was to run the amp in reverse, storing external energy back into the cap. It screwed with the circuitry, but you could use it to suppress a spell threatening your life.
Sarah’s K31 had a strand of superconducting wire hooked up to its power supply. Somehow she’d managed to hook it up to the Burns net, and the racks of supercapacitors that provided pulses of energy for the security grid. Obviously Sergei had ensured that the transformers and supporting circuitry were overengineered to hell in case of attack.
The grid was disabled and drained thanks to the simulation, of course. When Sarah ran her amp in reverse, the mages frantically working on Sergei were done for. They’d committed fully into supporting their comrade and couldn’t pull away in time.
I watched Carr fall, sinking to his knees as the color left his skin. Sergei thrashed and crumpled to the ground, the injured dwarf mercifully granted a quick death. Thomas stared at his peers in horror, and I could see the desperation on his face. He was conscious and the energies of the surrounding mages still partially flowed through his body. After all, he was the one anchoring the shared spellwork to keep Sergei alive.
Raw energy swirled around me, making it impossible for me to do anything but observe. I saw a blood vessel explode on Thomas’ temple, showering Sergei with blood. The man groaned once and sharply vented. In that instance, he’d doomed the lives of the Coalition members to save himself.
The circle of mages burned, skin turning into ash as Thomas thrust everything left into a concentrated ball of power. It glowed in his palm like a miniature sun, orange and fiery. As the last mage disappeared into ash, Thomas released the ball, sending it whizzing in Sarah’s direction.
Sarah responded with an attack of her own, blowing the dish off her K31 in the process. It joined with the ball a mere meter from her face. I felt the shockwave in my bones as the forces collided, inexplicably releasing a bolt of energy not as a suicidal explosion, but rather as a white beam boring through the roof of Burns and into the heavens. It hit the magical dome surrounding the property, which disintegrated with a blinding crack.
Immediately a large burden was lifted off my body, and I could move and react again. My eyes refocused to see Thomas naked on the ground, his face disfigured and ribs visible beneath the destroyed skin. Alive. Nearby him were five skeletons, those drained to death. Sergei’s relatively untouched corpse lay discarded in the center of it all.
The faces of Mom and Dad rushed through my mind, followed by Sian’s images of their skeletons resting in the Bellows plain. I had spells to resist the urges, but I rolled over and vomited on the carpet nonetheless. Memories of Sian venting played back repeatedly, followed by Thomas doing the same. The tears in my eyes and the bile in my mouth faded away as the images became more visceral. Sounds were playing now, the crash of Mom’s G3 as it unloaded uselessly into Crede. Intertwined with the noises of Sian choking Crede to death.
I heard shouting in the distance. Voices that weren’t part of the memories. Some rational part of me wanted to reach out and listen more closely.
My muscles tensed as something touched my thigh, though I was supposedly standing still in the ash-covered Bellows. It didn’t add up, especially when I heard shouts and screams in the background.
Slowly, my mind swirled away from its infinite loop and photons entered my eyes, which were previously clenched shut. Blurry shapes resolved into recognisable figures.
“It’s over, Sarah,” Ernest shouted. I could feel the magic radiating off him, strongly modulated by his emotions. The remaining Coalition mages stood in loose formation, spells ready.
The woman was hit hard by the attack, but had fared much better than Thomas. Her left hand was a charred stump and he stood in rags with a visible limp. Her magic was severely weakened, but nonetheless much stronger than I thought was possible from her. She’d tossed the amp and loosely held the superconducting cable in her right.
“I’d been hiding my powers for years,” Sarah said with a chuckle. “I might not have the reserve you do, but I can transform energy perfectly without a sweat. As for my clumsiness and lack of skill, let’s just call that play-acting.”
“You’re nothing now, and you know it,” he responded. “Stand down and we’ll grant you a clean death.”
Sarah’s shields flared up, boosted by the stored energy from the Burns reserves. I threw up mine just as heavy fire cut through the stone walls of the senior home, blowing holes larger than my fist. Martin, our head chef, was leaning against the window and took two in the back. The 30mm rounds literally dented his shield before breaking it, deforming his flesh before ripping through. He was dead before he hit the ground.
Ernest dragged me towards the staircase, the remaining fighters following. The sonic booms and whistling of the rounds over my head sent shivers through my spine. Somehow, I couldn’t sense the shots with my usual magic. Instead, they appeared as cloaked nulls in my mind, making them difficult to track.
“There’s two fucking autocannons on the lawn!” someone shouted. “Troops are approaching Burns from all directions.”
“Protect Erica with your lives,” Ernest stated calmly. I was in no state to reply as he shoved me down the stairs, the soft runners partially cushioning my fall. The state of shock continued as an intense gunfight broke out on the ground floor.
Many of the Coalition members fired their weapons instinctively, only to realise that their sim rounds were useless against real foes. Their shields took hits and faltered, forcing them to retreat and rely on magical attacks.
I saw Vance, a stout dwarf, stand amidst the fire to fiddle with a wooden cabinet on the wall. One that normally held three assault rifles and a box of mags that we desperately needed. Those were all sims now, thanks to my earlier efforts with Carr.
“They’re sims!” I yelled.
The dwarf nodded, ducking down just as a tongue of flame bellowed in his direction. I responded with cold, drawing the energy out of the air to prevent the flames from searing him. Thomas would’ve charged up with the excess, but I merely threw it back at the enemy with a tinkling of glass.
“Thanks!” he shouted back. I smiled at him just as a burst of telekinetic force wrapped around his legs and whipped him into a room. This time, the enemy caster loosed another ball of flame at point-blank range and finished the job.
My mind reeled again, this time returning me to Arnela and Mina succumbing to dragonfire. Thomas rode beside me, our horses foaming as we dodged the dragonlings. I watched as his skin fell away to reveal his bloody organs and blackened bones. He pointed towards Gale’s home like he did ages ago, but he did it like an animated Halloween prop. As he rode, his bones began to disintegrate into ash.
I looked away from him - I had to. The horse stumbled and I fell, followed by a delayed jolt of sharp pain. His distorted skeleton’s voice shouted back at me, urging me to keep going. The Wheelhouse burned and crumpled in the distance.
Unnatural forces snapped me out of the trance, this time from a Coalition soldier dragging me by my webbing. I’d taken a graze on my shield, which had somehow remained intact.
“Cloak and retreat if you can,” ordered Ernest. Spells flashed from his palm, dangerously fueled by his anger. He gestured towards one of the concealed hatches leading to the bunker.
The soldier helped me into the hatch, taking a fatal round in the process. In the chaos, I didn’t remember the human’s name. He was what I’d call a radical, but we’d shared a few jokes during mealtimes. I slid down the ladder under my own power and bloodied my palms in the process. With the adrenaline rushing through my system, I didn’t feel a thing.
Hans was waiting for me down below, a MP5 in his hands. The real thing, along with a real set of Kevlar and ceramic plate. Beside him was a rolling trash bin filled with assorted arms he must’ve taken from the armory. Jane, a mild-mannered elf living up in Burns, stood beside him with one hand on her cane and the other on a .22 Buck Mark. I will admit after looking back years later that it looked rather comical. After all, it was the only weapon she was probably willing to handle.
“We’re spread out over the different entrances,” Hans reported to Ernest after he slid down. “Our radios are dead and we only have emergency power down here.”
The red EXIT signs and backup floods cast strange shadows across the walls as the remaining men climbed down and locked the steel security door. A large desk was flipped and shoved over the entrance, littering the floor with paper and wires. Wards were cast rapidly over the mess and the vestibule was sealed.
“It’s good to see you safe,” Jane told me in her soft tones.
Ernest nodded briefly in acknowledgement, ordering his troops to arm up and hold the prepared indoor chokepoints. He led me through the tunnels that I now knew by heart. I drifted in and out of consciousness as he roughly pushed me along; my voiced concerns about Thomas and the remaining Coalition mages remained unanswered. He tapped a magical pulse into a vault door and it popped open noiselessly.
My senses perked up as I looked around the small room. The utilitarian shelves held waterproof Pelicans of varying sizes, along with larger wheeled roadcases and sealed crates.
“I wanted to teleport out, but everyone who could do that reliably is dead!” Ernest roared. His reverberating voice in the concrete safe startled me. “Our only option is the guide wire, which leads to an autoshop two kilometers away.”
He strode towards a port on the wall, a cylindrical hole several centimeters across. Quickly he grabbed a case off the shelf and snapped it open. To my surprise he tossed the case into a corner and stomped his foot on the ground. I noticed that there was an empty T-shaped foam cutout in the case.
“I swear I will kill that fucking bitch if I see her again,” he brooded. To my ears, he seemed even angrier than he did when he was yelling. “She’s the only one with access to the Coalition vault.”
The fact that he actually mentioned Coalition was lost in the shock of seeing Sarah materialize from the ceiling and drop to the floor.
“I’m right here, sweetheart,” she replied. “Surprised it took you that long.”
Ernest cursed again as she wiggled the guide handle in her grip, an ornately carved piece of wood that literally spat magic. Sarah cocked her head, listening to a report on her earpiece. A moment later, she grinned.
“My people have slaughtered their way to the lounge,” she deadpanned. “Won’t take long.”
“The Kettle won’t last long if it fights in the open like this,” Ernest replied. “We stick to the shadows and the world leaves us alone. You think Atlantis will turn a blind eye to open war?”
She snickered. “Well, you’re very much mistaken if you think it’s just the Kettle working on this. Or if it’s just the binary tap and Erica we’re looking for. The world is ours.”
Ernest attacked, releasing a burst of telekinetic force in her direction. She countered with a magical wedge, splitting the force around her into the shelving. The steel supports faltered and cases crashed around the room.
I noticed that Sarah was still moving awkwardly, and stepped forwards to engage her close. My twin Elven daggers snapped into my bloodied palms, the leather grips reassuring. The dulling spells I’d placed on the blades faltered as I released my hold on them. Thomas had considered me skilled enough to rely on such measures during the sim.
“You’re hopeless if that’s all you’ve got,” Sarah shouted back at him.
The woman danced away from my blades, moving closer to Ernest. She aimed a concussive blast at the vault door, starting a earsplitting ring and sending sparks flashing across the steel. The disoriented Ernest charged her, and we moved into hand-to-hand.
Sarah fought without a blade, parrying mine with deflections or directly taking the impact on her shield. I felt her presence dim as she cloaked, and I focused hard to avoid taking a blast of energy in the head. Ernest looked confused, angrily kicking at the cases to locate her. Somehow, he wasn’t even looking in my direction.
“Can’t think straight?” Sarah taunted him.
I moved to intercept her as she cast lighting at Thomas, dissipating her spell efficiently with destructive interference. My left blade whipped towards her shoulder, and she countered by meeting it with the side of her hand. Her personal field had sharpened to an edge at that point, creating a virtual knife that could be rearranged at will. Several mental pulses aimed in my direction forced me back against a wall.
To my surprise, Sarah stood still instead of pressing the attack. Smoke and odors suddenly reached my nose, and I looked down to see the molten plastic cases cooling around my feet. I tried to step forwards, but my legs felt like lead. Sarah advanced towards him.
“Ernest!” I shouted. He turned towards the sound, but from his confused face I knew he didn’t notice me. Sarah bore down on him, and only when she was a meter away did the man finally realise her presence.
I tried to help, supporting him with my arsenal of spells. Sarah had mired me for a reason, and safely breaking out of the molten mess would cause me the split second reactions needed to keep Ernest alive. He fought hard but slow, relying on my barriers and distractions to keep Sarah away. My legs rattled against the restraints, but the thick plastic held fast.
Ernest was moving slower now, his arm bent unnaturally and body battered. I might’ve been able to keep the blows from killing him, but each one hurt more than the last. Sarah noticed and managed to target his mind, launching a searing mental burst that staggered him.
I pumped a bit more magic into Ernest’s shields and targeted the hardened plastic, shifting my shield to form over my skin rather than on the undefined mess of molten boot and plastic. With a sign I heated the plastic and expanded the shield, destroying my socks and treasured Elven boots. Part of my sim combat trousers were ruined, though I didn’t give a damn about those. We’d already paid - and lost - quite the deposit on the rental.
Maybe it’s because of how I was trained back at home, but I found it easier to move barefoot atop the mass of sliding cases. I flipped my right dagger into a hammer grip, my mind picking up the tagged blade and focusing on Sarah’s neck. Combined with a strong spell, the thrown blade might be enough to penetrate the shield and take her down with something she didn’t expect. Sarah had knocked Ernest to the ground and straddled him, finally draining his shield down. She raised her sharpened hand to end him.
She wasn’t focused on me, and I let my arm swing back as I leapt forwards. I shoved at her with a strong but undirected burst of telekinesis, hoping to throw her aim off. A bit of lightheadedness entered me as I spent much of my reserve, but my spells remained true. My dagger flew straight and true towards her exposed neck as my spell spun her in my direction.
One more, I thought. I felt increased dizziness as I released a sputtering bolt at her, hoping to stagger her shield. My left dagger was up for the killing blow, the enchanted blades made to slice through what was left of her magical defenses.
The bolt hit Sarah first, causing the air to ripple over her armor. Then the thrown dagger, managing to briefly penetrate and pierce her skin before clattering to the ground from a countering force. She looked up at me as my left dagger rushed towards her neck, aiming for the small hole in the shield.
It was like time had stopped, though my senses were active and my heart beating. My blade was mere centimeters from her neck, poised before the hole in her shield that rapidly closed before my eyes.
“A valiant effort,” she said.
Ernest looked up at her, the color drained from his face as Sarah slowly recharged off his lifeforce. She held him down and kissed him sensually, leaving traces of her red lipstick on his face.
“Looks like I’m the one killing you, bitch.” She placed her hand over his throat, the hardened edge changing from its translucent grey into an orange hue. “All you mages can rot in hell.”
Sarah lowered her arm, the red-hot edge decapitating the Coalition leader in a single stroke.
One more chapter and we're moving on to Sian's side, where we'll look at magic through a more scientific lens.
While I love first-person for exploring ideas and emotions, combat always seems a bit iffy since you're only looking at the scene from one person's point of view, despite many things happening at the same time. I try to focus on the specific things Erica sees and hears, rather than the whole context of the battle as a whole.
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2020.12.04 06:39 f4c3m3l73r I was born into a family of Witches and Warlocks. It is NOT as glamorous as you may think. [PART ONE]
I suppose formalities are in order.
My name is Jonathan Rincewind. I was born May 10th of 1987. From a rather comfortable life given to me by my family of an.. affluent standing in a palatial home, I was thrown into a world of mayhem and absolute despair.
In north america, being a warlock, wizard, druid or whatever your bloodline correlates with, is a rather daunting experience. Every family is different, of course. I've only read about other countries practices and ways and it's all just about the same. The same horrible things, only in a different setting. While you are young, you'll find yourself feeling a pent up.. emotion inside of you. You won't understand what is is, or how you need to react, it is something you have to grow with and there is a reason for that.
The very first time I displayed my power was at a young age. I was 7 and I went to the edge of my property and made it to the road that leads near the residential areas. A homeless man was walking my way and I said good morning. He snarled a gruff profane response and called me a rich little brat then proceeded to push me over. I fell to the ground and got angry with him. The man was about to grab me. His outstretched arm was in my direct line of sight and something awoke inside of me. As if there was an invisible hand of my own, I grabbed the mans arm and squeezed with my mind. He screamed in pain and I watched the mans arm break and crumble.
As I said, the pent up emotion is there.. you just have to find it inside of you. That festering wound that seems to get bigger as life goes on.
According to the emotion, you can do whatever you'd like. As long as the signs correlate and your mind is at your personal perfect harmony.
You don't typically hear of these things in books or whatever you may read on the subject. That's just what we want you to see.
Because, I'll be completely honest. I don't think anyone should pursue these arts and, or try to grasp the knowledge this is known by our world and others. It's been a proven fact that over 70% of people looking into becoming a practitioner of this ethereal, yet otherworldly perspective of life has become mad from not only the ramifications of these horrors, but just purely from what they've seen.
It's been covered up for years, we aren't really supposed to be talking about this. However, while I'm almost certain that other families who have the "pleasure" of sharing the same fate as I, are willingly dealing and trading this knowledge with other countries or anywhere else they could get potential gain in any way shape or form, some people are also smart and can learn just about anything.
It's out there and it's constantly calling your name. You just need to listen closely.
Another subject I'd like to clarify is that not only do we have no say in being born into a mystical bloodline, but we are constantly kept under surveillance by our families until we are given a test when we reach the age of 33.
There are very little of us in the world, but as I said.. some people are smart. It can spread like a miasma.
My family's secret, in my eyes, should not be kept from shielded eyes. This world, this way of life should rot in the deepest depths of the void.
It's dangerous and you will die, I promise you that.
I also figured since these may be my last words, or rather, ramblings.. I would write about this experience here with you all simply because it's hard to be so alone for so long. I dont want to sound selfish, but this really is a lot for me to be frank.
I've got my cellphone handy and I'm taking time to rest and reflect since the immediate danger seems to be at bay right now.. but it's only a matter of time and energy before the inevitable.
The first time I noticed something absolutley strange was when I would come down for breakfast to greet my my parents good morning, once I made my way to the end of the stairs, I would be in a different area of our house.
At first, I would just walk around to find my way, but I would only turn a corner to be right back at the staircase that ascends up to the living quarters. The kitchen and front door were gone. It was covered with the wood that mostly made up the interior of our massive home.
This was a spell, or possibly even a twisted ritual of some kind.
I spent weeks trying to figure out what to do and finally something sparked in my being. I've always had abilities. I've just never explored that part of myself before, until the time was right, until I was forced to do something with my power.
With no escape in sight, I found myself angered obviously, and I resorted to screaming and being a damn child. Then, as I turned to my door to leave I glanced at the window next to it. There was something odd. The area looked almost too dark. The curtains were slightly transparent and the one on the left side was darker than the other. As I looked into the dark of night through the window I could see two eyes stretched open and staring at me. In my horror, I backed away and stared at these eyes, but as I continued to look and stare I could see that the eye was attached to a figure. The figure was upside down and looking through my window crawling on the side of the house. It looked human, but I know better.
It scurried away and I could hear it treading on my roof to another area of the house. Then, somewhere of in our cathedral home, I heard a loud boom echo throughout followed by maniacal inhuman laughter.
I tried to remain calm and gather myself, but you see, this fear and confusion transcended into a power within me. I felt an enormous pulse of an almost nuclear surge explode and washed over me like a tidal wave. It soaked through my life force like water would enrich the earth.
I centered it into my hands and went for the door. Before my hand could reach for the knob, the door flew off of it's hinges.
"Woah." I idly thought.
Quickly, I stopped in my tracks.
The room in front of me was nowhere in my house anymore. I was somewhere else entirely. I was caught. A realm of different understanding than mere mortals can even begin to comprehend. No mans eyes should ever have to witness this twisted figures of abominations. Every inch of any wall or formation before me was an assimilation of my memories.
I saw my father grotesquely formed to his old truck from 1968 with metal, bone and his flesh embodied with one another. My old dog Layla was squirming in unison with a large still beating heart that ran black blood into a tree made of animals. It went on and on, all of my life was literally right before my eyes in a putrid living organism. The dogs whining was starting to get to me, as it was not only dying and hoarse, but warbling and wretched. The animals were wailing, my father was wailing, all around me was pure agony and screaming and crying.
This spell, this nightmare, was only the beginning.
I fell backward and began thrusting my energy and spheres of hatred into these monstrosities until I was back on my feet. Over and over they're bodies contorted and imploded, and I remained vigilant with my attacks. Within my own life force was every word in my incantations fueled by my anger and being, but there was only so much that I could do. I was only then getting used to my newfound abilities. The toll these forces take on your body can be draining as well as fatal.
I took a moment to look over what I had done. The bodies steamed and howled while resuscitating their flesh.
Deciding that, this was obviously futile, I backed away in terror. I took a moment to breathe, as these things were not attacking me. I back into something and gasped, then turned around to a pale figure. My neck was gripped with ferocity and it jerked my head downward.
I couldn't see who or what was choking me right away but in my mind I could wager it wasn't anything human.
That thing I saw out of my window was gazing at me. I'm sure of that, because I picked up on it's malevolent aura. The sheer fact that this thing could conceal its presence like that was and is horrifying.
Getting a closer look, it resembled our human anatomy, but disfigured. A tall lean wiry build with arched limbs and cadaverous skin. It's eyes were sickeningly stretched. Two white orbs sunken in two crevices on a face that looked like someone had scrambled it. The thing had no distinct features.
Its mouth peeled open and displayed rotted teeth with a black tongue. It laughed that sinister laugh and its eyes beamed a pale blue color. It was then I felt my power draining. I was getting tired just from its grip. It was pulling my essence out of me, exhausting my life force. The creatures face and other features began to look more refined and slowly looked more like an old man instead of the monster out of my window.
It spoke to me.
"I cast my flesh aside. The unholy rebirth is nearly complete. All that remains is your sacrifice to me, wizard!"
I balled my fist, built up that emotion inside and felt that surge of rage again. I still had enough energy to do this.
My fist connected with its face. The pop that followed was similar to a shotgun blast to the head at point black. After the smoke cleared, its brain was now exposed pulsating and a single eye connected to its socket flapping a violent spasmodic motion desperately trying to look up at me. Its jaw hanging and slowly moving, as if trying to speak. The creature released me and its legs buckled, collapsing to the ground.
I caught my breath and witnessed as the horrors around me receded into itself and disappear to the realm it came from.
We were near the foyer, just passed the stairs that led up. I looked down at the crumpled body before me, and noticed a shining light sparkling from the moonlight that illuminated through the window nearest. I went in for a closer look and noticed the unmistakable glow and shape of a crystal. It was a deep purple, almost amethyst, but that was impossible. Amethyst could not power something like that. something inside of me told me to ttake it. I picked it up and immediately remembered where I exactly knew of its origin. I ran up to my parents room into his study. I fumbled through countless tomes and scrolls then finally. I found the document I needed to read. The words written by my father were of his findings in archaeological evidence, indicating the exsistance of three stones one created by man, one created by the gods and one created by filth. This was a fragment however, it is said that these stones or Crystal's have supernatural elements in which their user casts upon a many number of ancient and horrible spells. If I could find these crystal fragments, the ones made from evil. I could destroy them. Or at the very least keep them hidden and locked away in damn vault.
I looked around for anything that might help me harness my power and aid me. The room had plenty of materials for anyone involved in the arts. Through my searching, I found a letter that was written to me. It was from my mother.
It was dated the very same day I picked that letter up.
"Jonathan, my sweet boy, please read this carefully and take it with you. There is a curse put on your father. He isn't well and is no longer the man you once knew. All of his kind words, all of his knowledge passed onto you, all of it matters no more. He is slowly transforming into something horrible.
I'm not sure how this could have befallen on your father, but I believe it is not entirely out of a random haunting. Jonathan.. your father he was involved with other families. As a head master of our lineage, it was his duty to aid and possibly seek peace with other states and maybe even countries. You see, he was tricked. Deceived by a horrible man. This man has no name. No past and no trail to lead to his identity we only know that he is male. But the fact of the matter is that he is responsible for this. Your father wanted to be prepared for your trials to become a fully fledged member of our society, but this man is a witch doctor.
He used a powder derived from the flower of the “borrachero” shrub. "Devils Breath" he was held captive and they performed a ritual on his body placing a curse on him. As you know I am a clairvoyant. I can feel and see almost everything mother earth has given us, I felt this horrible feeling of perverse discrepancy done to your father. I didn't have time to tell you in person because I'm trying to get to him first. I fear that I may be too late, but I at least have the time to warn my only son. My beautiful boy, Jonathan. I pray you dont read this letter, but if you are. I love you so much, don't be scared, be strong. I know you will.
(There were droplets of what I can only assume to be tears near here)
P.S. I have imbued this piece of paper with a holy incantation. It's sealed, but you can release its power with yours and it will deal major damage on the unholy ones. The ones that may be after you.
Take this letter with you right now and go outside. I hope this isnt goodbye.
The emotions that filled me only fueled my hatred for the enemy. There was only one way back now and it was over their dead bodies.
I was ready for anything. I felt confident, but humble due to the fact that I am about to face the unknown.
After reading my mothers words, I put the note folded in my pants pocket and made my way downstairs. I made it past the final step and heard my front door open. Turning my head, I could see that outside was abnormally dark. There were no street lights, no signs of human life. Only the despair kept inside and released onto me from the entities I am sure to face. The wheels are set in motion.
This is now my test.
I focused on my inner self, took a deep breath in, exhaled a long cloud of sparkling mist and walked through my front door.
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2020.12.04 06:25 Wonderwall1026 Questions 🥺
For those were able to move on and move forward, how were you able to do it? How were you able to function well? How long did it take you? Were you able find a new partner? Did you tend to compare your late partner to the new one?
There are days that i’m longing for the hugs of someone, to have another person beside me, to hold me when i lost my grip. But i can’t see myself being with someone just yet. My heart will always belong to him. And what i had with him, i don’t want it with anybody else. But i want to fill this void he had left. I’m an introvert so i really have few people close to me. But no one understandands and accepts me like the way he did. I miss the love and affection from another human being but thinking that i would start from scratch drains me. Got the best person already but was taken away immediately.
There are also days that i’m okay being single for the rest of my life. I’m really confused and scared and hurting. I miss him so much.
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2020.12.04 06:24 supposedlyrich The Black Ego Experience
The Black ego experience is an incredible opportunity to evolve. When you feel that your heart is pure love at its core, and that from it comes grace, beauty, joy and kindness, but you are painted as hardened, unmotivated, highly reactive, and aggressive... it's an obvious sign that the ego world and the inner world cannot match up.
When you feel like a hero on the inside and the world tells you you're a hero on the outside, it's easier to buy into the lies of this world. But when you feel like a hero on the inside and are painted as the villain on the outside, you are forced to decide which to believe. Every single day your inner and outer worlds will be in conflict. The person your heart knows you are and delights in you being cannot coexist with the person the outside world too often meets with fear, pity, and annoyance.
If you are living as a Black ego, and you catch one whiff of your true self, never let it go. Push through the dark night of the soul. Let the inability of your seemingly inescapable ego to protect you frustrate you until you're out of your mind. Let the reality that you will never be fully seen or understood wash over you and tear your heart open. Out of that open heart, allow the one who has always seen and understood and adored all that you are step forward. The world does not have eyes to see who you really are. Believe in the goodness that has always lived within you, and step aside so God can marvel and delight in the full multitude of his manifestation in this world, invaluable to the artwork. Your greatest value is to be experienced, felt and known as you are right now.
Let this world tell you in not so subtle terms that it would be more comfortable if being Black did not exist. Because it can never know what it means to live blind behind a Black face... but the you deep down that created your Black being is what this whole world is dying to discover.
I honor the light that lives within you, and the darkness that it shines through.
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2020.12.04 06:19 cherrychu1113 How Does Medical Electronics Meet Market Development and Demand
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Nowadays, medical electronics has entered our lives. It is no longer just to see smart medical devices in hospitals. Small wearable devices have been put in our pockets. Personal health monitoring devices such as blood pressure meters and blood glucose meters have won everyone’s attention. With the continuous development of medical electronics, the requirements in terms of power consumption, performance, and price have increased, which has become a new round of challenges for medical electronic equipment. Reasonable solutions can meet people's needs and market development. Reduce power consumption to achieve tiny, intelligent power management
In terms of circuit principle, it is necessary to build a portable medical device that requires low power consumption and a wide voltage operating range, so as to achieve a simplified design and a small size system power management design. In order to meet more functions of the system, from the data interface , storage to the calibration port, each pass must be accurate and correct, and the number of components and system power consumption should be reduced as much as possible to realize an intelligent integrated power management solution. High standards and high requirements to improve measurement accuracy
Take the blood glucose meter system as an example. The system uses electrochemical reactions to detect the patient's blood glucose level, and the test accuracy is very sensitive to temperature changes. This requires measurement of the ambient temperature, and also needs to avoid the instrument from working outside the temperature limit of the accuracy range. Improving the accuracy of sensors and other components is the key to improving the design of portable medical products. Costs affect the hearts of the people and businesses
In order to reduce the system cost, the internal temperature sensor of the chip can be used to calibrate, compensate the external temperature of the blood glucose sensor, provide accurate reading reference, correspond to the actual temperature of the diode , and obtain the most accurate value for the package that needs external application. . To ensure the accuracy of all measurement data while reducing costs, a single-chip temperature sensor becomes an ideal choice for low-cost applications.
2020.12.04 05:58 Fontus1k Buddhist religious ring
(I have very limited knowledge on Buddhism these are just stories told to me by my mother)
Long post warning. Here's some background, my mom is from China more specifically Chongqing. Ever since she was a child, my mother has believed that she has some sort of six sense where she can communicate with spirits and Chinese gods. On top of this, she also has claimed to be able to predict the future and have an unnatural like intuition. In her early twenties when she was staying at flushing or known as China town in New York City, she experienced some extremely bizarre unexplainable occurrences. One morning my mother's friends asked her if she wanted to go down later in the afternoon to JFK international airport to welcome a prolific female monk from Taiwan. At first, she was hesitant and declined as my mother didn't practice Buddhism and later that afternoon without thinking much about it she took a nap. In this nap, she had a dream where she described the most beautiful melody and a figure flying down to hug her. Afterwards, my mom had a change of mind and called her friends to pick her up, and luckily enough the monk wasn't set to land until later that evening. At the airport, she encountered crowds of people awaiting the monk, among these crowds many individuals had gifts and bouquets of flowers awaiting to shower the monk in gifts. My mom was able to acquire a single purple flower from a kind-hearted stranger and waited amongst the crowds with her friends. As soon as the monk arrived the crowds erupted in excitement, my mom stated how everyone was trying to give the monk a gift but the monk chooses to ignore everyone. As the monk walked towards my mom she paused and took the single flower from my mom without saying anything but thanks and quickly departing. Now, this is where it gets weird. Following the event at the airport, my mom and her friends attended the local temple or centre of some sorts, where the monk was giving a speech. She stated how she stayed at the left-hand middle row. Her friends were still amazed in the excitement that the monk even took notice to her and accepted her gift. My mom thought much of it as nothing more than a coincidence. She exclaimed to her friends that it would've been more special if the monk gave her something instead. And just like telepathy, the monk walked over between the rows and up to my mother and handed her a ring. Now I've seen and worn this ring in person and ill get into how this ties into with this story. Fast forward, my mom was still in NYC and now she was dating my dad her boyfriend at the time. She managed to lock her self out and was able to get my dad to come over to help. They tried everything to get in but to no prevail. Out of the blue, my mom jokingly asked the ring "ring ring if you are so powerful and spiritual help me out here" (rough translation as my mom told me this in Chinese, and I'm CBC), she then tried one of my dad's random keys and it magically fit and unlocked the door. After that, the ring never worked again and never again did she have an occurrence with it. Fast forward about twenty years to Toronto and now I'm here. The other weekend I went over to visit my mom for dinner, as my parents are divorced. I've been dying to see this ring as my mom got it out of a bank deposit the other night to show me the following day awaiting my arrival. During dinner, she told me that I shouldn't wear it as it was given to her by the monk and it could have consequences. She said only the purest and uncorrupted could wear it, and if I were "dirty", a spirit will follow me. To give more insight I've been smoking weed for the past couple years in high school and only recently did my mom find out. She is extremely against it as she thinks cannabis is the equivalent to heroin or hard drugs, as she's an uneducated traditional-minded Chinese. Anyways while I was asking her if I could wear the ring, she exclaimed if I don't stop my bad habits and wear that ring there will be grave consequences. I wore it anyways without thinking much of it afterwards. Following up to today my mom called me. During the end of our conversation she asked me if I've seen anything "terrifying" in a serious melodramatic tone, she told me to watch out for evil spirits as if I lied they will be following me. This seriously spooked me as her tone was nothing ever like I've seen before, on top of that she was refusing to tell me what she saw in her dreams. She said she something terrifying was going after me and that I should look out for my self but she refused to describe it to me. I think it's her tryna scare me out of smoking, but tbh it was rly unsettling. I have a couple more ghosts stories from her days in her youth and in China if you guys wanna hear some I might staying posting them. (I tried to take a photo of the ring but my mom wouldn't let me)( The ring has an extremely luminous teardrop piece of jade wrapped on a solid gold band)
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2020.12.04 05:37 ERYdayKILLA831 Me(15) and my GF(15) are in a weird spot
So i'm mad in love with this woman and i've never felt this way. We've been dating for 7 months and it's been so amazing i can't even put it into words. Recently i've been a little upset at her because i get jealous, but we're passed out little incident that happened and now we're somewhere else. Yesterday I begged an owner of a discord group chat to remove her because they weren't good people, and i did not want them to influence her. when the host removed her I said "Finally! What took you so long" they added her back and she saw it, she got her feelings hurt and i understood that. She then proceeded to tell me she was loosing feelings after that point, she's already met my parents and i want to spend the rest of my life with her. But i can't stop crying every single night because (crying while typing) i really don't want to lose her she means the world to me. we've planned our lives together but she's stopped saying "i love you" and she told me sometimes she only says it because I say it. My heart is truest broken, i'm good at handling relationship issues a lot of the time but now i really have no clue what to do.
(forgot to mention): she's bisexual, i'm her very first boyfriend and she grew up making out with girls she has not kissed a girl since she was in middle school but recently she's been telling me she's 95% lesbian 5% bi. I would 100% support her, i'm not homophobic but i just don't want to lose her. I'm a self diagnosed "person who hides their emotions" 😅 but seriously i think i might be depressed, i always laughed at that word not thinking if ever be there but.. here we are..
lastly i'm a amazing boyfriend i don't want to hype myself up but i know i am, i've never done anything to hurt her.
i just need help guys, please.
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2020.12.04 05:33 crewrecline I guess I'll try this.... Anyone with advice?
So here's the deal. First and foremost... I'm a douche wagon, now with that out of the way... STORY TIME!
So once upon a time I was married, was pretty rock bottom with my depression and anxiety, latched on to someone because they were nice to me and things happened. I was getting older, this person was really nice and to this day I consider to be a really good person. BUT.... no love. I was ok with that at the time because screw it, married to someone i consider my best friend... Thats not bad right? I didn't have much faith in finding this love stuff so I rolled with it... Mostly because she was happy and I forever take one for the team by appeasing others over myself. Fast forward about a year my dome piece problems get worse, Im looking for anything that can put my mind in other places and I come across a new streaming platform. As an old stickam streamer I was like hey this is awesome. So I check out some streams and some time goes by on the new app, progress being made.. ish? Not sure if it actually helped but it did occupy my thoughts so Ill take it. Happen to stumble across a streamer who was super popular and insanely gorgeous. I dropped se gifts down and just kinda hung out. Yup already a bad sign. After becoming a regular on the stream she notices me and starts talking to me. At this point in time it was just friendly talk, no biggy. She had a thing for beards and I have that covered and she was immediately interested by the fact I didnt ask for anything in return when I gifted. To speed the story up abit here.... This turned into feelings.... And yup.... This douche wagon cheated. But I dont regret it... This random streamer that most would assume would just feed you some regurgitated lines and move on ended up being a person that saved my life multiple times. We would talk, she would learn whats wrong with me, shed spend hours researching how to fix me, give advice, check on me constantly, talk about me in her streams.... I look back now and it seems so silly but those little things were so damn dope. She curved darkness in the melon. In time however i would need to tell her about me.... And being married. So i did. Easily the most heart wrenching cry Ive ever heard. The more surprising part was she didnt give up, she demanded i come clean to the wife. It was a weird moment in my life where the mind stopped working and the body just did what it needed to do. By the time she finished that sentence i was sitting on the couch with her still on the phone and confessed to my wife so that this girl could hear every bit of it. Unfortunately this sparked a turbulant 3 or so months of guilt, and lashing out, my depression and anxiety bursted back into the scene, multiple attempts at opting out... And this girl just low crawling right through this mental warzone i was dishing out. She soldiered right threw it until she couldnt anymore. I pushed her away.. and im realizing real quick my heart needs this person to survive. And since timing is an absolute bag of dongs, a week after she gave up i figured out why my head was crap. I figure it out, attack the root of the problem, build myself back up, except the person that owns my blood pumper is gone now.
NOW...heres where i ask for advice. Its been a year,. Im now divorced... Doing amazing in the melon department. Still absolutely in love with this girl, i dream about her, i have nightmares. Ive tried to talk to other girls, no avail. Mind you im a bearded tattooed in muscular fella.. its not hard to get a woman. I just cant do it, they arent her. I cant move past her. And to make it even better, this girl always pops back up, she always checks in on me. Im currently at this moment going through another pop up moment. Problem is when she does, the first couple days shes very chatty, tells me things like she misses me, she wanted to hear my voice, see how im doing. But then it fizzles out. One word responses, huge delays in responses, lack of interest. Makes me feel like im a fling when she gets bored. I tried to tell her but as soon as i do she assumes its my head problems coming back. But its really not, its just love, and confussion, and probably stupidity for all i know. Ive blocked her on so many platforms but she always finds a way or i give in and unblock her. This is like the 10th time shes popped back up and like clock work its all happening again. Im on this rollercoaster where she gets my heart pumping again, my hopes go through the roof, just for it all to fizzle. For anyone reading, i know i goofed up. Im not hiding from that and ill forever wear it on my sleeve. But i found something out of it, something im trying to hold in to but i really dont know what to do here. Im content with loving her and just staying single, but she always comes back. What do i do? Anything would be helpful at this point, im a prideful man and dont like asking for help but im just at a loss here.
Sorry about typos, grammer and so on. I suck with touch screens.
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2020.12.04 05:33 EverythingIzAwful Keqing in 1.2 - Speculation
Alright so there's two things in particular in 1.2 based on leaks that seem potentially powerful for Keqing. Ganyu and the new sword, Festering Fang.
Thoughts on the sword are pretty simple so I will start here. Looking at Keqing's constellations, EVERY single one of them wants her to invest into electro dmg. I have C1 personally which is what made me consider the sword a bit since it's adds electro AoE to her E. If we're able to get duplicates to refine this thing do you guys think it will have potential with a Thundering Fury set? The substat is energy recharge which we don't need on Keqing so that's a huge kick in the nuts but that ability seems like it might have potential. I'd like to know if there's any chance in hell it will compete with Black Sword/Lion's Roar on electroKeqing as is. The spamability of her E with Thundering Fury 4pc in conjunction with the sword's effect and C1 just seems enticing.
Now Ganyu, as a support DPS with say - Sucrose. Since Sucrose's Ult keeps enemies mostly grounded as opposed to Venti who lifts them too high for charged attacks to hit 9/10 times. As far as I know, superconduct is the best option for electro reactions so we'll compare her to other cryo units.
- All constellations are entirely selfish, they provide no benefit to Keqing. The exception is C6 as it adds a 4th icicle to his ult which increases overall damage and returning energy when cast.
- Both of his ascension talents are mostly irrelevant as well. "Heart of the Abyss" can be helpful if you're also using Barbara or Xingqiu, this isn't enough IMO.
- Ascension stat is energy recharge which is a very useful stat for what we need him to do, so we have that going for him.
- E is on a 6 second cool down, this is phenomenal for applying cryo repeatedly and getting his ult back.
- His E to the my knowledge is terrible for Keqing as it makes your attacks deal cryo damage. When testing myself, no matter which order I used the skills in the damage numbers always show up cyan and are significantly lower than normal implying they are in fact being overwritten by cryo damage no matter what I do, you also don't apply electro while dealing cryo obviously. Interestingly enough, when my auto's are empowered with E-E, sometimes superconduct would still trigger off of a single auto which was weird. Possibly a bug?
- His Q is cool but it launches enemies which is always annoying especially for a character like Keqing who wants to spam charged attacks. Having to dash after enemies lowers downtime and eats up stamina for charged attacks. The only upside is that it's 40 energy and very spammable.
- His ascension talents are great but you still need to be standing in his E for them to work which means they are irrelevant.
- His C2 and C6 are awesome but you still have to be in his E for C2 to apply which is the more important of the two for what we want. At the end of the day, 15% off of our E isn't that big of a deal because of how short the cooldown is anyways, it's better for your ult but only a little bit.
- Ascension stat is ATK%, meh.
- E and Q are great, there's not that much to dig through here since they're pretty basic. The only downside is the cooldown on her E the 80 energy cost on her ult. These are pretty significant downsides though since our goal is to trigger superconduct frequently.
- Her main weakness is mitigated by equipping Sacrificial Sword (E cooldown/energy generation). Her E will hit several times so it's almost impossible to not trigger the ability. You don't even lose out if you have to let it rotate a second time since her passive talent triggers when she attacks anyways. It's a win-win(kinda).
- Her ascension talents are both great. Again, not a lot to dig into here. Her E/Q are very simple and as such her talents that affect them are also pretty simple.
- Her healing scales off of attack which is always a plus on a healer.
- Ascension stat is a healing increase. She's a healer, what is there to say?
- I'm not going to take her constellations into account for the simple reason that she is not only a 5 star, but a 5star that hasn't gotten a banner.
- E and Q are great, her E has two modes and both use useful. We would probably use the tap vs the hold. E tap is a 6sec cooldown and applies a shield making it just a better version of Kaeya's E for us while holding E applies a stronger shield but has a 15sec cooldown. Holding E can be a decent choice with Sacrificial Bow since each projectile has a chance to proc the ability. Downside of Q is that it's an AoE roughly the size of Bennett's and enemies will back out/get knocked out of it rather easily. Q applies cryo continuously for 12 seconds while healing us which is awesome. 80 energy ult but not that big of a deal with spamming E and energy recharge substat on her best bows.
- Ascension passives are awesome as the first one increases move speed and reduces stamina consumption by 10% while shielded by her E translating to more charged attacks. The second one reduces the damage that enemies inside her ult's AoE do.
- All of her constellations are great except the one that reduces her aimed shot charge time. It's irrelevant since the only reason we would use a charged shot is to apply cryo, but since it's only during her ult we can assume the enemy probably already has cryo on them since the ult pulses it.
- E, as is popular opinion, seem to just be better versions of Amber's. kek cryo Amber bad. I personally like taunt effects, they get enemies to group up and when they end everything takes damage and get cryo'd. The durability scales with HP which isn't necessarily a bad thing, at the end of the day you want it to explode so detonating faster is fine. They also effectively mitigate damage since you're not the target any more. Lasts 6 seconds and has a 12 second cooldown, effectively a 6 second cooldown since it'll be active for half the time similar to Fish/Oz. (Before someone points this out - I know that at C2 she can technically keep the taunt up 100% of the time, but again since she's a 5star so I don't think it's worth taking her constellations into consideration.)
- Q has a larger AoE than Amber's and lasts 15 seconds compared to 2 lol. This lasts longer than Sucrose and Venti's ult back to back. The damage intervals are going to be important here and it isn't listed yet however we can assume by comparing it to other ults that deal continuous damage (Venti/AnemoTraveleLisa/Amber) that it will most likely deal damage several times per second, this theory is also supported by the low scaling of the ice shard damage.
- Her charged attack explodes dealing AoE cryo damage and depending on the size of the AoE could be relevant. If the size of the AoE is similar to Childe's riptide for example, it could be very useful.
- Ascension stat is cryo dmg, as a DPS support this is fine.
- Probably her biggest downfall is that she will have a pretty hard time getting back energy for her ult. Energy recharge would be pretty important.
- Both of her ascension talents are completely selfish or useless to Keqing. Guess she really is as bad as Amber...
- She always carries out Keqing's instructions to the letter, even when Keqing can tell she has her reservations. Dependable support material.
I'll be honest, I really like Ganyu's design even though I think she'd be WAY cooler as a catalyst user. I'm pretty biased about wanting her to be useful for Keqing and if she's not I'm going to forcibly make her a DPS for another team lol.
Personally I think that Qiqi/Diona are the two best cryo supports for Keqing as of now and that Ganyu realistically will not be better than either of them but I am hoping that as a DPS support she can have her place. Regardless I would like to hear opinions.
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2020.12.04 04:54 KenfromDiscord Guts RT Rough Draft.
RESPECT GUTS [PICTURE]() BACKGROUND
Canonically this is the first arc in the series, however it takes place 2 years after the events of the Eclipse. Guts in this arc is acting as a Raider's Captain, seeking out enemy Apostles and killing them with little regard for his life or the lives of anyone else.
Intelligence This arc is the prequel to The Black Swordsman arc. During this arc we see Guts grow from a child with sever commitment issues, to a loyal member and defacto leader of the Band of the Hawk, Guts in this arc is fiercely loyal to his comrades, even going as far as throwing himself into the Eclipse for them.
- Cuts through a bucket and into a barrel. - Chapter 0J
- Cuts into a chest and a wooden post. - Chapter 0J
- Cuts into Bazuso's axe mid-strike. - Chapter 0K
- Cuts into Bazuso's heavy armor. - Chapter 0K
- Cuts into Bazuso's helmet. - Chapter 0K
- Cuts a man's arm off. - Chapter 0L
- Guts is confident he can "slice through even steel plate" with his sword. - Chapter 0M
- Cuts through swords and helmets. - Chapter 0P
- Eviscerates a heavy cavalry company. - Chapter 1
- Blocks a strike from Nosferatu Zodd. - Chapter 3
- Blocks many strikes from Zodd. - Chapter 3
- Cuts through Zodd's sword. - Chapter 3
- Charges and stabs through a kid and into a stone wall. - Chapter 10
- Kicks the bar out of a sewer grate. - Chapter 11
- Blocks a hit from Adon's trident. - Chapter 14
- Chops through Adon's Ganzansenpu (Rock-Cutting Whirlwind), which "can crush even marble", breaks into his helmet, and sends him rolling head over heels. - Chapter 15
- Cuts into a man's plate armor. - Chapter 18
- Cuts through four men in armor. - Chapter 19
- Blocks strikes from Samson, a massive man in triple-thick armor, shatters his morningstar, and then cuts through his triple-thick helmet. - Chapter 19
- Shatters a helmet by swinging through it. - Chapter 20
- Cuts through a man's armored torso and nearby soldiers comment on his incredible strength. - Chapter 20
- Dismembers several men in plate armor. - Chapter 20
- Using Zodd's sword, cuts through both Boscogn's heavily armored horse and Boscogn's armor. - Chapter 27
- Cuts through Griffith's sword. - Chapter 36
- [Griffith's sword can cut through plate steel.]( - Chapter 20 or smthn idk i'll go find it
- Sends a guy flying from a weird position with enough force to break a wooden fence and topple several armored men. - Chapter 41
- Kicks Silat a fair distance. - Chapter 42
- Swings his sword so hard that it dispels a massive urumi attack. - Chapter 43
- Breaks through a quadruple-thick door, shattering it, and cuts through armored guards. - Chapter 54
- Murders many guards and a captain of the guard, cutting through armor and weapons easily. - Chapter 55
- Cuts and smashes stone with a slash. - Chapter 57
- Meets Wyald's club strike evenly. - Chapter 62
- Blocks a hit from Wyald that sends him skidding back. - Chapter 62
- [NSFW] Cuts through many apostles with just a normal sword. - Chapter 86
- [NSFW] Breaks a sword against an apostle's hide. - Chapter 86
- Sends an Apostle flying with a swing from Dragonslayer. - Chapter 94
- Takes a hit from a flail that knocks him down. - Chapter 0I
- Fine after being pushed hard enough to break wooden furniture with his fall. - Chapter 0J
- Takes a glancing blow to the helmet from Bazuso. - Chapter 0K
- Thrown against a pillar after blocking a hit from Nosferatu Zodd. - Chapter 2
- Thrown against a pillar hard enough to crack it after blocking Zodd again. - Chapter 3
- Smashed through a pillar by a swipe from Zodd. - Chapter 4
- Backhanded against two pillars by Zodd. - Chapter 4
- Dazed by a bunch of logs falling on him. - Chapter 48
- Has his hands squeezed by Wyald, and is only pained. - Chapter 60
- Briefly KO'd by Wyald's Apostle form, which is swinging a tree as a club. - Chapter 63
- [NSFW] Crushed by Apostle Form Wyald's hands, thrown through the limbs and boughs of trees, bounced along the ground, thrown by Wyald's impact, and backhanded through some more tree limbs, and is only KO'd for a moment and can fight back immediately afterward. - Chapter 65
- [NSFW] Blocks a kick from Apostle Form Wyald and ends up on his feet. - Chapter 66
- [NSFW] Takes several hits from Apostle Form Wyald, the last of which causes him to lose his grip. - Chapter 66
- Smacked by Apostle Form Wyald. - Chapter 68
- Takes several hits from Apostles. - Chapter 82
- Falls off a large structure, but slowed his descent somewhat before he landed. - Chapter 84
- Falls down a hill while heavily injured, keeps sprinting. - Chapter 91
- Thrown through a large wooden door. - Chapter 94
- Survives a crossbow bolt through the chest and a long fall and gets back up not too long afterward. - Chapter 0K
- Fights a pack of wolves and kills several before cowing the rest. - Chapter 0K
- This is directly after being shot with a crossbow bolt and falling down a cliff.
- Fights with a crossbow bolt in his arm. - Chapter 0L
- Gets back up after getting stabbed through the chest, but collapses soon after. - Chapter 0L
- Continues fighting despite previous injuries and new ones inflicted by Griffith. - Chapter 0M
- Swims to shore in armor, with an oversized sword, while dragging an unconscious person with him. Pulls the arrow out soon after. - Chapter 15
- While suffering from the same arrow wound, blocks rapid strikes from a large flail and then kills a man in triple-thick armor. - Chapter 19
- Fights and kills a hundred men while suffering from arrow wounds. - Chapter 19-21
- Still talking back to the medicine man despite wounds that normally would make a person pass out. - Chapter 21
- Basically unaffected by a shallow stab and holding a sword in place by the blade. - Chapter 45
- Despite a huge beating from Apostle Form Wyald, still fights back and cuts him after a short time KO'd.
- [NSFW] After two separate KOs on him, with broken ribs and almost unable to stand, still wants to kill his opponent. - Chapter 66
- [NSFW] Hacks his own arm off in order to free himself, and still charges Griffith. - Chapter 86
- Sprints for hours, from when the sun is in the sky until night, while very heavily injured. - Chapter 91
Skill/Intelligence Taking place roughly a month after the Black Swordsman arc, Guts is still extremely reckless, willing to place his life, and the lives of those near him on the line to kill Apostles. However he is warming up to the idea of new compatriots.
Intelligence Tower of Conviction is the 3rd arc in Berserk, with Guts seemingly going back to his Golden Age mentality. Now taking on new comrades and trusting people with tasks he normally wouldn't. Guts is still liable to put his life on the line in any given fight, however he now fights for his friends safety.
The longest arc in berserk history, this is the arc where Guts forms a new adventuring party, seemingly getting over the death of the old Hawk, Gut's mentality in this arc is akin to the Golden Age Arc.
Berserker Armor. The Berserker Armor is a set of full plate armor made by the dwarf Hanarr, and previously owned by The Skull Knight. It makes it user immune to pain, and as such allows Guts to use 100% of his strength. As the name suggests this armor makes the wearer give in to their animal instincts, unable to tell friend from foe, it also makes light, warmth and voice fade over time. The last ability of the Berserker Armor is that it violently fixes wounds, however the user is not healed .
Cant be pierced.
Dragonslayer kills spirits
Feats taking place in the Berserker suit will be denoted with an asterisk.
This arc isn't over but, we've done it boys
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2020.12.04 04:47 RubySmith1 Some people say, “The second coming of the Lord Jesus will be in the form of His Spirit, and cannot possibly be in the flesh.”
Response: Some people say, “The second coming of the Lord Jesus
will be in the form of His Spirit, and cannot possibly be in the flesh.” Does this kind of statement stand? Is it based on the Lord’s words? People who understand the Bible all know that the Spirit does not come or not come. The Spirit is formless and amorphous and cannot be seen or touched; He is filled with all things in the universe. He is big in that He is filled with all things in the universe. He is small in that He is in the heart of every person who truly believes in Him. There is a lot of Him in that He exists in the heart of every person who truly believes in Him. There is very little of Him in that there is only one. It is just as the Bible says: “There is … one Spirit…. One God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all” (Eph 4:4, 6). The Lord Jesus also said: “For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the middle of them
” (Mat 18:20). Therefore, as long as we genuinely believe in God and are intimate with God, the Holy Spirit will be with us anyway. Accordingly, the Spirit does not come or not come. In references to the second coming of Jesus
, Jesus being the Son of man and Christ, this means He must surely come in a form that we can see and touch.
As for why the Lord Jesus comes in the flesh, let’s take a look at the scriptures. In Luke 21:8 the Lord Jesus said: “Take heed that you be not deceived: for many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and the time draws near: go you not therefore after them.
” In Luke 17:24-25 He said: “For as the lightning, that lightens out of the one part under heaven, shines to the other part under heaven; so shall also the Son of man be in his day. But first must he suffer many things, and be rejected of this generation.
” Revelation 11:15 states: “The kingdoms of this world are become the kingdoms of our Lord, and of his Christ; and he shall reign for ever and ever.
” These passages refer to “Christ” and “the Son of man.” Just what is meant by “Christ” and “the Son of man”? Some people say “Christ” refers to “the anointed,” but King Saul, King David, Samuel, Elijah, and many high priests and great prophets have also been anointed and are called sons of man, so why can’t they also be called Christ? It is because they only have a normal humanity and not complete divinity. Jehovah and Jesus are both God Himself, so why is Jesus Christ and the Son of man, but Jehovah isn’t? This is because Jehovah is the Spirit and only has complete divinity but does not possess a normal humanity. Jesus can be called Christ because He is God’s Spirit made flesh, born from a human being, with a normal humanity, and moreover complete divinity. Jesus can only be called Christ because of the combination of these two aspects. Therefore, “Christ” is the inherent name of the incarnate God. The Bible prophesies that the returned Lord Jesus will be called Christ and the Son of man, which means that He comes in the flesh. Could He be called that if He comes in the Spirit or a spiritual body? Luke 17:24-25 states: “So shall also the Son of man be in his day. But first must he suffer many things, and be rejected of this generation.
” Doesn’t this also refer to the second coming of the Lord being in the flesh? How could He suffer as a Spirit or a spiritual body? Could He still be rejected by people? The Bible also says that false Christs will appear in the last days to deceive people. We all know that false Christs will surely be human beings. If Christ came not in the flesh but as a spiritual body, then how could false Christs imitate Him? Could they still imposter Him? Could they still deceive people? Then why would Jesus need to say that there are false Christs in the last days? Isn’t this even more a hint to His disciples that His return will be in the flesh? Why can’t people think of this? It’s not that people can’t think of it, it’s that they have delimited God and are not willing to seek. Didn’t Jesus say “seek, and you shall find
”? Didn’t He say “Blessed are the poor in spirit
” and “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness
”? How can people receive the Lord’s enlightenment and guidance if they don’t seek, are not poor in spirit, and don’t hunger and thirst after righteousness?
So why does the Lord have to return in the flesh? To understand this aspect of the truth, we must first understand why the Lord Jesus had to become flesh. After we understand this, we will better understand why the second coming of the Lord has to be in the flesh. We all know that in the Age of Law, Jehovah God promulgated laws through Moses for people to obey; if they violated the law, they shall suffer God’s punishment. In the latter stages of the Age of Law, mankind’s sin increased and they gradually lost their reverence for Jehovah, actually putting lame, blind, and sick offerings on Jehovah’s sacrificial altar and thus committing deeds Jehovah God saw as evil. Accordingly, some people were burned to death by fires from heaven while others were stoned to death. If this situation continued, wouldn’t everyone be smitten by God for violating His laws? Then wouldn’t the meaning of God’s creation of man in the beginning be lost? Therefore, it was against this backdrop that God, in accordance with the needs of corrupt mankind, personally became flesh and came to earth to be nailed on the cross for mankind to be their sin offering in order to give them redemption from sin. Mankind was hence pardoned and no longer condemned for not abiding by God’s laws. Then why did the Lord Jesus choose to do His redemption work in the flesh and not directly by the Spirit? This is because the redemption work is completed through His crucifixion, which cannot be achieved by God’s Spirit. The Spirit is without shape or form and cannot be seen or touched, so He cannot be nailed to the cross. God’s Spirit also cannot bleed for man, so of course He cannot be mankind’s sin offering. Thus, only God in the flesh, a tangible God, can be nailed to the cross and bleed His precious blood for mankind and redeem mankind from sin, allowing them to be forgiven of their sins, escape death, and live in God’s blessings. Hence, the Lord Jesus became flesh for two main reasons: On the one hand, it is because of the needs of corrupt mankind; on the other, it is to accord with the needs of His work of being nailed to the cross to redeem mankind.
In that case, let’s then compare whether God’s work of the last days is more beneficial to saving corrupt mankind when done directly by God’s Spirit or in the flesh.
Let’s first discuss an example. 2 Samuel 6:6-7 documents an incident: When David led the Israelites to bring back the ark of God from Baale of Judah, Uzzah reached out his hand and took hold of the ark because the oxen shook it, and he was thus struck down by God’s Spirit. Why was Uzzah smitten by God? All those familiar with the Bible understand that in the Old Testament, the ark represented the God of the Israelites. Since God is holy, how could filthy humans use their hand to hold it? Even though Uzzah did it out of good intentions, he offended God and was hence killed. Let’s talk about another example everyone is familiar with. In John 8:3-11, an adulterous woman was brought by the people before Jesus to see how He would deal with her. At the time, Jesus not only did not condemn her, but He pardoned her sin and told her to confess and repent, and sin no more. It can be said for certain that, if God’s Spirit had been working directly, this woman would have been stoned to death in accordance with the law. It is precisely because the Lord Jesus was working in the flesh that there was a chance for this woman’s sins to be pardoned and for her to be saved by grace. Through the above two examples we can see: In the Age of Law, God worked in the Spirit. The Spirit did not permit anyone to be tainted or offend Him, and those who offended Him had to die. But the work style of God in the flesh during the Age of Grace was different. He treated people differently based on their real situations and actual backgrounds. In other words, God in the flesh has sympathy for mankind’s weakness and gives them a chance to repent. Therefore, the work of the incarnate God is more beneficial to corrupt mankind than God’s Spirit working directly. According to the state of people in the last days, is the direct work of God’s Spirit or the work of God in the flesh more beneficial to corrupt mankind? As everyone knows, mankind’s present sins have long exceeded those of people from the latter stages of the Age of Law and also those of the people of Sodom. Debauchery, evil, and rebellion against God has reached a peak. Even brothers and sisters under the name of Jesus cannot break away from sin. Although they have been redeemed by Jesus, mankind’s sinful nature still takes root deep inside them. They continue to live by sinning in the day and confessing at night. Some people appear humble and patient from the outside, but are actually scheming, have jealousy and strife, and try to deceive others. Many brothers and sisters are passive and weak, their confidence and love gradually waning, and their sins spreading. Some lust after money. Some live like unbelievers—the only difference is that they have a Bible. Isn’t this a fact for all to see? God’s Spirit does not permit man’s offense or allow humans to be tainted. Wouldn’t such a corrupt mankind have been destroyed long ago if it was God’s Spirit that directly performed His judgment and cleansing work in the last days? Isn’t that right? Therefore, in accordance with the needs of corrupt mankind and the extent to which they have been corrupted by Satan, God once again became flesh to work among us. This is because only through working in the flesh can God sympathize with man’s weakness, give them a chance to repent, and thoroughly save them. Almighty God says: “If God did not become flesh, no fleshly man would receive such great salvation, nor would a single man be saved. If the Spirit of God worked directly among man, man would be smitten or completely carried away captive by Satan because man is unable to associate with God
” (“The Mystery of the Incarnation (4)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “Thus God began the second round of plans to continue the work of the incarnation. God’s ultimate intention is to perfect and gain everyone rescued from Satan’s hands…
” (“Work and Entry (6)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “Man has been corrupted by Satan, and he is the highest of all God’s creatures, so man is in need of God’s salvation. The object of God’s salvation is man, not Satan, and that which shall be saved is the flesh of man, and the soul of man, and not the devil. Satan is the object of God’s annihilation, man is the object of God’s salvation, and the flesh of man has been corrupted by Satan, so the first to be saved must be the flesh of man. The flesh of man has been most profoundly corrupted, and it has become something which opposes God, which even openly opposes and denies the existence of God. This corrupt flesh is simply too intractable, and nothing is more difficult to deal with or change than the corrupt disposition of the flesh. Satan comes into the flesh of man to stir up disturbance, and uses the flesh of man to disturb the work of God, and impair the plan of God, and thus man has become Satan, and the enemy of God. For man to be saved, he must first be conquered. It is because of this that God rises to the challenge and comes into the flesh to do the work He intends to do, and do battle with Satan. His aim is the salvation of mankind, who has been corrupted, and the defeat and annihilation of Satan, which rebels against Him. He defeats Satan through His work of conquering man, and simultaneously saves corrupt mankind. Thus, God solves two problems at once.” “The only reason that the incarnate God has come into the flesh is because of the needs of corrupt man. It is because of the needs of man but not of God, and all His sacrifices and sufferings are for the sake of mankind…
” (“Corrupt Mankind Is More in Need of the Salvation of God Become Flesh” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). Through Almighty God’s words we can sufficiently understand that God became flesh all because of the needs of corrupt mankind. It is because even though mankind was redeemed by Jesus and their sins pardoned, their sinful nature was not eradicated and continues to take root in their flesh, and man does not have the power to overcome sin and forsake the flesh. Man’s flesh was corrupted by Satan and used to disrupt and damage God’s work. Man thus became Satan and God’s enemy. If God’s Spirit worked directly, not one person would be able to be saved. Everyone shall be smitten by God because of their filth and corruption. No one person would survive. Therefore, God became flesh for the second time all because of the needs of corrupt mankind, and not because of the needs of God. Accordingly, the work of God’s incarnation
is more beneficial to corrupt mankind than God’s Spirit working directly.
Next, let’s discuss the necessity of God’s incarnation through the work God does. This is because God is performing the work of judgment through His words in the last days. That is to say, in the last days, Almighty God will open the scroll, open the seven seals, open up the sealed-up utterances of the seven thunders, publicly reveal to mankind all the truths and mysteries that have been hidden away for 6,000 years, and reveal all the innermost secrets inside mankind. Through the truths expressed by Him, God will judge mankind, expose mankind, supply mankind, and point out the proper path for mankind, so that they have true knowledge of themselves, attain changes in their life disposition, and can be cleansed in the end. However, if the work of judgment through His words was done directly by God’s Spirit, the desired results could not be achieved. Why is that so? You will understand after reading the next passage of the scriptures. In John 12:28-29 it records: “Father, glorify your name
. Then came there a voice from heaven, saying, I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again.
The people therefore, that stood by, and heard it, said that it thundered: others said, An angel spoke to him.” Please pay attention. This part clearly mentions a voice from heaven saying, “I have both glorified it, and will glorify it again.
” So why did the people that stood by say that “it thundered,” and why did others say, “An angel spoke to him”? Could all the bystanders have heard wrong? Of course not. It is because the work and words of God’s Spirit gives people a sense of the supernatural and the mysterious, so it is very difficult for people to accurately feel out God’s intentions. But the work of God in the flesh is different. He can provide people with precise words to guide them, and clear goals to pursue; they don’t need to explore and speculate for them to understand how to practice in order to conform with God’s intentions. Matthew 18 states: “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus said to him, I say not to you, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
” From this example, we can see that, during the period God works in the flesh, the incarnate God can clearly tell people the proper path when they don’t understand God’s intentions. People don’t need to explore and speculate and can directly act in accordance with God’s intentions. This enables us to understand that God’s requirements of man are very precise and clear when He works in the flesh. Just this point alone far exceeds what working in the Spirit can achieve. It is more effective for God to do His judgment work through His words in the flesh than directly in the Spirit. God becoming flesh in the last days makes it easier for Him to interact with people. This is something the God’s Spirit working directly cannot achieve, because human beings cannot come into direct contact with God’s Spirit, and nor is it easy for them to understand and know Him. Just as Exodus 20:18-19 states: “And all the people saw the thunder, and the lightning, and the noise of the trumpet, and the mountain smoking: and when the people saw it, they removed, and stood afar off. And they said to Moses, Speak you with us, and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die.” When the people heard Jehovah’s voice, they were not happy, but instead shook in fear. They did not want God to speak to them, which shows that the voice of God’s Spirit is like thunder. Human beings cannot come into direct contact with God’s Spirit, nor can they actually understand God’s words. How could the work of the Spirit achieve results this way? But the work of God in the flesh is very different. It’s like when the Lord Jesus became flesh and actually lived on earth among mankind, living with and residing together with man, working and speaking using man’s language, speaking to us face to face, and expressing truths to supply us. People could really interact and have a heart-to-heart talk with God in the flesh, and through His work, words, and every deed, know God’s disposition and all that He has and is. This way, it became easier for people to understand God’s intentions, what He requires of man, and know God’s dearness and loveliness, making it more conducive for mankind to become intimate with God and look up to God. People’s belief in and worship of God became no longer vague but especially practical and real. Therefore, only if God becomes flesh can He actually come into contact with mankind, and can mankind actually receive God’s watering, shepherding, and support, and gain true knowledge of God. God’s work in the last days of using His words to judge and cleanse mankind moreover needs to be done through the incarnate God, because the effects achieved by the work and words of the Spirit are far less than those of God in the flesh. Almighty God says: “God’s saving of man is not done directly through the means of the Spirit or as the Spirit, for His Spirit can neither be touched nor seen by man, and cannot be approached by man. If He tried to save man directly in the manner of the Spirit, man would be unable to receive His salvation. And if not for God putting on the outward form of a created man, they would be unable to receive this salvation. For man can in no way approach Him, much like how none could go near the cloud of Jehovah. Only by becoming a man of creation, that is, putting His word into the flesh He will become, can He personally work the word into all who follow Him. Only then can man hear for himself His word, see His word, and receive His word, then through this be fully saved.” “If God does not become flesh, He remains the Spirit both invisible and intangible to man. Man is a creature of flesh, and man and God belong to two different worlds and are different in nature. The Spirit of God is incompatible with man of flesh, and no relations can be established between them; moreover, man cannot become a spirit. As such, the Spirit of God must become one of the creatures and do His original work. God can both ascend to the highest place and humble Himself by becoming a man of creation, doing work and living among man, but man cannot ascend to the highest place and become a spirit and much less can he descend to the lowest place. Therefore, God must become flesh to carry out His work
” (“The Mystery of the Incarnation (4)” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “The work of the flesh more effectively relates to every person with whom He has contact. What’s more, God’s flesh with tangible form can better be understood and trusted by man, and can further deepen man’s knowledge of God, and can leave upon man a more profound impression of the actual deeds of God. The work of the Spirit is shrouded in mystery, it is difficult for mortal beings to fathom, and even harder for them to see, and so they can only rely on hollow imaginings. The work of the flesh, however, is normal, and based on reality, and possessed of rich wisdom, and is a fact that can be beheld by the physical eye of man; man can personally experience the wisdom of the work of God, and has no need to employ his bountiful imagination. This is the accuracy and real value of the work of God in the flesh. The Spirit can only do things that are invisible to man and difficult for him to imagine, for example the enlightenment of the Spirit, the moving of the Spirit, and the guidance of the Spirit, but for man who has a mind, these do not provide any clear meaning. They only provide a moving, or a broad meaning, and cannot give an instruction with words. The work of God in the flesh, however, is greatly different: It has accurate guidance of words, has clear will, and has clear required goals. And so man does not need to grope around, or employ his imagination, much less make guesses. This is the clarity of the work in the flesh, and its great difference from the work of the Spirit. The work of the Spirit is only suitable for a limited scope, and cannot replace the work of the flesh. The work of the flesh gives man far more exact and necessary goals and far more real, valuable knowledge than the work of the Spirit. The work that is of greatest value to corrupt man is that which provides accurate words, clear goals to pursue, and which can be seen and touched. Only realistic work and timely guidance are suited to man’s tastes, and only real work can save man from his corrupt and depraved disposition. This can only be achieved by the incarnate God; only the incarnate God can save man from his formerly corrupt and depraved disposition
” (“Corrupt Mankind Is More in Need of the Salvation of God Become Flesh” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). The words of Almighty God are very clear. God’s work of judgment using His words in the last days could not achieve the results it ought to if done directly through the Spirit. This is because God’s Spirit cannot be touched or seen; He is hidden, unpredictable, and strikes fear into people’s hearts, making Him difficult to approach and unsuitable to the work of directly saving mankind in the last days and being the direct life supply of mankind. Accordingly, God working in the flesh as opposed to through the means of His Spirit is the most suitable method for mankind. God working in the flesh is more conducive to making contact with and interacting with mankind, and can practically supply mankind based on what they are actually missing and lacking. God working in the flesh can bring mankind precise words, and can also point out to them a clear direction to pursue. At the same time, it can also reverse the deviations in people’s experiences, deepening their understanding of God and eliminating their notions of God. Therefore, God working in the flesh is more conducive to the work of judgment using His words in the last days than working directly through His Spirit.
There is one more aspect. God’s judgment work in the last days is the work of conquering and saving mankind, and it is also the work of classing each according to their kind and rewarding good and punishing evil. God’s judgment work can only achieve the desired results through thoroughly revealing mankind’s disobedience and resistance to capture the truth and distinguish good and evil. In that case, does God working in the manner of the Spirit or working in the flesh better reveal mankind? Matthew 13:54-57 states: “And when he was come into his own country, he taught them in their synagogue, so that they were astonished, and said, From where has this man this wisdom, and these mighty works? Is not this the carpenter’s son? is not his mother called Mary? and his brothers, James, and Joses, and Simon, and Judas? And his sisters, are they not all with us? From where then has this man all these things? And they were offended in him. But Jesus said to them, A prophet is not without honor, save in his own country, and in his own house.
” We can see from this passage of the scriptures that, because the Jews did not know that Jesus was the Messiah and that He was the incarnate God who came to be among mankind, their truth-loathing, truth-hating nature was exposed. They were full of notions and imaginings about the Lord Jesus, thinking that He was merely a normal man who does not appear any different from the outside and that He, like a normal person, ate, clothed, lived, and walked, and even had parents and siblings. It is precisely because the flesh of the incarnate Lord Jesus was normal and real that the Jews’ notions and imaginings, rebellion and resistance and their arrogant, truth-detesting essence and nature were all exposed. At the time, if it had been God’s Spirit working directly, unable to be seen or touched, people would have been able to speculate and imagine at will. Such work would conform with people’s notions and would not have been able to reveal the disobedience and resistance of the Jews at all. It is only because Jesus was God incarnate that the notions and resistance of the Jewish people were completely exposed. Accordingly, those people who held on to their own notions and resisted to the end were condemned by the Lord Jesus, while those who obeyed and followed the Lord Jesus received His blessings. This shows us only God’s incarnation could sufficiently reveal mankind’s disobedience and resistance, imaginings and conceptions, and reveal the essence and nature of each type of person, classifying them according to their own kind. As God’s Spirit is great, honorable, and possessed of authority, who would dare to reveal disobedience and resist God if He were doing His judgment work through the manner of the Spirit in the last days? How could good and evil be distinguished? How would His judgment work achieve results? Therefore, God working through the manner of the Spirit cannot reveal people’s notions and their disobedience and resistance, nor can it reveal the essence and nature of each type of person to separate them according to their own kind. Only by God personally coming to earth and becoming an ordinary flesh can the notions, disobedience and resistance inside man all be revealed. Only by judging and chastising mankind in this way can they be utterly convinced, so that those who obey and accept can be saved and those who disobey and resist can be punished. If not for the incarnate God of the last days, everyone would think they are the most loyal to God, love God the most, and are the most worthy of God’s blessings. Only through God being incarnated into a normal and real flesh, which does not conform with mankind’s notions, can their disobedience and resistance all be revealed. It is through this that God captures the truth, separates good and evil, and ultimately achieves the goal of dividing each according to their kind and rewarding good and punishing evil. This is the wisdom in God’s work and also His righteousness. Accordingly, only by God appearing and working in the flesh can mankind be revealed more completely and thoroughly, and can the goal of conquering and saving mankind be achieved. God working in the flesh is more conducive to His judgment work of the last days than working through the Spirit. Almighty God says: “The original conceptions of man can only be revealed through their contrast to the incarnate God. Without the comparison to the incarnate God, the conceptions of man could not be revealed…
” (“Corrupt Mankind Is More in Need of the Salvation of God Become Flesh” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “The corrupt disposition and rebellion and resistance of man are exposed when he sees Christ, and the rebellion and resistance exposed on such occasion are more absolute and complete than on any other. It is because Christ is the Son of man and possesses normal humanity that man neither honors nor respects Him. It is because God lives in the flesh that the rebellion of man is brought to light thoroughly and vividly. So I say that the coming of Christ has unearthed all the rebellion of mankind and has thrown the nature of mankind into sharp relief. This is called ‘luring a tiger down the mountain’ and ‘luring a wolf out of the cave’
” (“Those Incompatible With Christ Are Surely Opponents of God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “For the work of judgment is also carried out through man’s conceptions of God, and man has never had any conceptions of the Spirit, and so the Spirit is incapable of better revealing the unrighteousness of man, much less of completely disclosing such unrighteousness. The incarnate God is the enemy of all those who do not know Him. Through judging man’s conceptions and opposition to Him, He discloses all the disobedience of mankind. The effects of His work in the flesh are more apparent than those of the work of the Spirit. And so, the judgment of all mankind is not carried out directly by the Spirit, but is the work of the incarnate God. God in the flesh can be seen and touched by man, and God in the flesh can completely conquer man. In his relationship with God in the flesh, man progresses from opposition to obedience, from persecution to acceptance, from conception to knowledge, and from rejection to love. These are the effects of the work of the incarnate God
” (“Corrupt Mankind Is More in Need of the Salvation of God Become Flesh” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). “Many have a bad feeling about the second incarnation of God, for man finds it difficult to believe that God would become flesh to do the work of judgment. Nevertheless, I must tell you that often the work of God greatly exceeds man’s expectations and is difficult for the minds of men to accept. For men are merely maggots upon the earth, while God is the supreme One that fills the universe … whereas each stage of the work directed by the thoughts of God is the distillation of God’s wisdom. Man constantly wishes to contend with God, to which I say it is self-evident who will suffer loss in the end
” (“Christ Does the Work of Judgment With the Truth” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
God’s words have made us understand that God became flesh in the last days for the sake of the needs of corrupt mankind and His judgment work of the last days. We all know that people under the law needed sin offerings. Without Jesus’ incarnation, people would die under the law. In the last days, people redeemed by God need to be thoroughly cleansed and saved. Without God’s incarnation in the last days, we can only live in the situation of sinning and confessing, never being able to achieve holiness and enter God’s kingdom. Only through God becoming flesh to do His work of judging and cleansing mankind can mankind have a clear goal to pursue and accurately feel out God’s intentions, such that corrupt mankind can be thoroughly cleansed and saved. Only the practical work of God in the flesh can reveal mankind’s disobedience, corruption and resistance; only it can conquer man and make man fall down before God. Therefore, God’s incarnation is too crucial for corrupt mankind in the last days. Now that all this has been said, can we still say that God cannot possibly come in the flesh in the last days? Can we still refuse this great salvation just because God’s reincarnation does not conform with our notions? God’s incarnation in the last days is imperative to mankind being saved, and a major event that determines mankind’s future. Almighty God says: “Did you not desire greatly to see the God in heaven? Did you not desire greatly to understand the God in heaven? Did you not desire greatly to see the destination of mankind? He will tell you all these secrets that no man has been able to tell you, and He will even tell you of the truths that you do not understand. He is your gate into the kingdom, and your guide into the new age.” “Because it is He who has brought the truth, the life, and the way to save all mankind, ease the conflict between God and man, bring God and man closer together, and communicate thoughts between God and man. It is also He who has brought even greater glory to God. Is not an ordinary man such as this worthy of your trust and adoration? Is such an ordinary flesh not fit to be called Christ? Can such an ordinary man not be the expression of God among men? Is not such a man who helps mankind be spared disaster worthy of your love and for you to hold?” “Such an ordinary flesh holds many unfathomable mysteries. His deeds may be inscrutable to you, but the goal of all the work He does is sufficient for you to see that He is not a simple flesh as man believes. For He represents the will of God as well as the care shown by God toward mankind in the last days. Though you cannot hear the words He speaks that seem to shake the heavens and earth or see His eyes like blazing flames, and though you cannot feel the discipline of His iron rod, you can hear from His words the fury of God and know that God shows compassion for mankind; you can see the righteous disposition of God and His wisdom, and moreover, realize the concern and care that God has for all mankind. The work of God in the last days is to allow man to see the God in heaven live among men on earth, and to enable man to come to know, obey, revere, and love God. This is why He has returned to flesh for a second time. Though what man sees this day is a God that is the same as man, a God with a nose and two eyes, and an unremarkable God, in the end God will show you that without the existence of this man, the heaven and earth will undergo a tremendous change; without the existence of this man, the heaven will grow dim, the earth will become chaos, and all mankind will live in famine and plagues. He will show you that without the salvation of God incarnate in the last days, then God would have long ago destroyed all mankind in hell; without the existence of this flesh, then you would forever be chief of sinners and corpses evermore. You should know that without the existence of this flesh, all mankind would face an inevitable calamity and find it difficult to escape God’s more severe punishment of mankind in the last days. Without the birth of this ordinary flesh, you would all be in a state where neither life nor death will come no matter how you seek it; without the existence of this flesh, then this day you would not be able to receive the truth and come before the throne of God. Rather, you would be punished by God because of your grievous sins. Do you know? If not for the return of God to the flesh, none would have a chance at salvation; and if not for the coming of this flesh, God would have long ago ended the age of old. As such, can you still reject the second incarnation of God? Since you can so greatly profit from this ordinary man, then why would you not accept Him readily?
” (“Did You Know? God Has Done a Great Thing Among Men” in The Word Appears in the Flesh).
Dear brothers and sisters, aren’t we all looking forward to welcoming the return of the Lord Jesus? Aren’t we all anticipating attending the wedding feast of the Lamb with the Lord and gain God’s salvation in the last days? Only if we put aside our own notions, come before God, and seek and accept the truths expressed by Almighty God, will we be able to hear God’s voice, see God’s appearance. Only then can we receive the way of eternal life bestowed by God in the last days, gain God’s cleansing, saving, and perfecting, be brought into God’s kingdom, and enter the beautiful destination of mankind. If we hold on to our notions and imaginings, refusing to accept the fact of God’s incarnation in the last days, we will then lose our last chance to be saved and regret it for the rest of our lives!
Recommended: The Lord Has Returned
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2020.12.04 04:43 Christopher_Maxim I died and met my guardian angel. He was never trying to protect me.
"Get the paddles!"
I remembered falling. It was nice at first. The air rushing past me as the butterflies in my stomach multiplied with each passing second. "CLEAR!"
Then, there was the screaming. Not from my mouth, but from the pedestrians below, scrambling to run away from the landing zone. Some to get help, others to avoid blood splatter at all costs. "CLEAR!"
It wasn't until the last second, just before hitting the pavement, that the shock wore off and I realized what had happened. I was on the twelfth floor balcony of a hotel in town, enjoying the view when the railing gave way, crumbling beneath my grip. There was no chance of avoiding the descent. "CLEAR!"
They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die. I wouldn't go that far, but I understand the sentiment. In my final moments, there on the operating table, I thought of them
. The most important facets of my life. My wife and daughter. "His pulse keeps dropping!"
I would never get to see Leslie grow up. Never get to teach her how to drive or walk her down the aisle at her wedding. And Charlotte; we had our issues - that's why I was staying at the hotel in the first place - but we knew it was a forever deal from the start. Now, that forever was over. Cut short by a building code violation, of all things. "One more! CLEAR!"
As my vision wavered, I saw something in the corner of the room. Not a something, but a someone. A man in turn of the century attire, leaning against the wall with a cane at his side. No one paid him any mind. He simply stood there and smiled. "We're losing him!"
As I took my last breath, the man in the corner said something. In its battered state, my brain couldn't comprehend the message. Looking back, I now know what it was. See you on the other side, Jack.
Some say after kicking the bucket there isn't anything. Your brain dies and your soul along with it. With no further capacity for consciousness, your mind cannot carry on past your body's expiration. I can tell you from experience, this is not the case. Between the operating room and the hereafter, there wasn't so much as a second of nothingness. No lapse in thought whatsoever. One minute I was in the hospital, the next I was in the afterlife; as seamless as a pawn progressing to its next square.
At first, I couldn't see anything. There was an overwhelming brightness flooding my field of view.
"It's alright. Your eyes will adjust. Give it a moment."
After a few seconds, the scene came into focus. I was seated at a table in the center of a plain, white room with no windows or doors to speak of. Sitting across from me was the strange man from the hospital.
"Where am I?" I asked.
"Why this is heaven, of course!" He said, proudly.
"Heaven? So I'm... dead?"
He let out an apologetic sigh.
"Yes. You've ridden your train as far as it could go. End of the line, Jack."
He offered condolences in the form of a concerned look, complete with an awkward frown.
"Who are you supposed to be, then? An angel?"
"Not just any angel, Jack. I'm your
angel. Assigned to you since your birth."
"Assigned to me? What does that mean, exactly? Were you watching over me? Protecting me?"
His boisterous laughter filled the room and echoed off the walls.
"Watching over you, sure. Protecting you? Quite the contrary. I'm the one who loosened that railing and sent you spiraling to the ground."
My heart sank.
"What?! You killed me?! Why?"
"Honestly, Jack? To get it over with."
My wife and daughter were now alone out there in the world. With that terrible thought in mind, I stood up and slammed my fists onto the table.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
His face turned sour. It wasn't likely that very many people talked to him that way.
"Sit down. Now!"
He raised and lowered his hand in one fluid motion and I was seated again, against my will. He then stood up and leaned in as far as the table between us would allow.
"Here's how things work, Jack. When you die, your angel takes over. They possess your meat suit and get an equal share of time on earth. If you lived for thirty years, the angel rides you for thirty more and experiences life outside of these white walls. The longer we wait, the more time we get, but some of us are impatient. Yours truly, for instance."
I tried to respond, but no words came out. It seemed the power pinning me in place was also keeping me quiet.
"Life here - it's insufferable. Rules and order. The same miserable goings-on day in and day out. I can't take another minute of it. That's why I pulled the plug early. I can visit earth whenever I want and even manipulate events to my liking, but it's not the same. With a vessel, I can finally be seen
. I can experience human interaction and all of the pleasures therein - sex, love, hunger, ambition. Things I've never felt before. I need
this, Jack. More than you know."
He backed away and sat down. Whatever hold he had over me was then released, allowing me to speak again.
"So this is it? My life's over and you take the wheel? I don't get a say in this at all?"
He let out a sigh of disappointment.
"Actually, you do. Every soul is given two options."
He snapped his finger and a pair of documents appeared on the table, along with a silver pen.
"First option. Authorize my claim of ownership over your body and join me on earth. You will have no control over our actions, but will at least get to experience life again, in some small way. My turn to play, your turn to watch."
That didn't sound like an attractive option.
"What's my other choice?"
"Second option. Get thrown in the fragmenter with all of the other lost souls. You will be torn apart, reassembled, and torn apart again. It will take thousands of years before you are completely obliterated and allowed to rest."
That wasn't exactly ideal either.
"If I choose the first option, what happens after your time is up?"
"I come back to heaven and get assigned a new case, and you're thrown in the fragmenter anyway. It's a buffer, really. A period of time in which you can brace yourself for the inevitable."
I couldn't believe it. Heaven
. It was supposed to be your final resting place. Somewhere you could exist in peace after death. At least, that's how it was always depicted in books and movies. In truth, it was a nightmare.
"I'm dreaming, right? In a coma at the hospital, dreaming about what comes after. None of this is real. It can't be."
The man chuckled.
"Oh, it's real, Jack. Here, let me show you."
He reached across the table and placed a hand on my forehead. All at once, we were transported to the hospital, standing over my corpse as the doctors left the room.
"What is this? What's happening?"
"Calm down, Jack. It's called projected travel
. We're still up there - this is just a glimpse of what's happening down on earth."
Charlotte walked in, tears streaming down her face.
"She can't hear you, Jack."
One of the doctors put a hand on her shoulder.
"I'm so sorry. I can give you a minute, but we really need to clear the room."
She ran to my side, now sobbing uncontrollably, and placed her head on me.
"Why did you leave, Jack. Why?"
I reached out to touch her, but my hand went right through.
"It's all my fault. We never should have fought. You should have been home, with us."
I wanted so badly to tell Charlotte she wasn't to blame for any of this. To hold her and say it would all be okay, but I couldn't, and that killed me inside.
"We still need you, Jack. Come back to us."
I turned to the man, now crying myself.
"I've seen enough. Take us back. Now."
He snapped his fingers and we were back in heaven, seated across from one another at the table.
"So, what'll it be, Jack? Endless torment, or some more time on earth and then endless torment? Personally, I'm partial to the latter."
I didn't like either option, but it was now abundantly clear which one to choose.
"I'll take the fragmenter. It's the only thing that will destroy the sorrow I'm feeling, even it does take thousands of years. If I'm going there either way, I might as well get it over with."
I grabbed the pen and began signing the appropriate contract. The man pulled my hand away.
"Don't be so impulsive, Jack. We have time. Think it over a bit. Tell you what, I'll even let you see your family from time to time. We can check in on them, if you want."
"That's even more of a reason to choose the fragmenter. I don't want them ever seeing you in my body."
He looked absolutely devastated. I took my hand back and continued signing.
"No. I can't let you do this, Jack."
Before I could get to the last signature block, the man ripped the paper out from underneath the pen.
"What are you doing? I made my choice. I accept my fate."
"No. I'm not staying here, Jack. I can't sit through another person's life. You're going to let me in whether you like it or not."
His eyes turned black and his mouth opened up, revealing a set of razor-sharp teeth. Before I could react to the transformation, I was pushed up against the wall by an unseen force. He leapt over the table, grabbed me by the neck, and ran his hand down my arm. His now dagger-like nails caressed my skin, just enough to reveal slivers of red beneath the surface.
"Sign the deal or I'll fragment you myself, piece by piece. I think you'll find that I can be very creative when it comes to methods of torture. There are far worse fates than death, and I can assure you, I'm the worst one of all."
His breath was toxic. Putrid fumes spilling out of his mouth and climbing into mine, creating a cancerous taste on my tongue that made me want to vomit. If this was a preview of things to come, there was no doubt in my mind he was telling the truth. Regardless, I stood my ground.
"No. I choose this over letting you in. You can rot here with me!"
He growled and tossed me across the room. I fell to the floor like a ragdoll.
"Plan B then!"
A snap of his fingers and he was gone, replaced with an old film projector that now rested on the table. As I stood up, it powered on, projecting a scene onto the wall ahead.
It was Charlotte and Leslie on the drive home from the hospital.
Charlotte looked to Leslie through the rear-view mirror, crying, but trying her best to hold it in.
"Daddy's... not with us anymore, Sweetie."
Leslie tilted her head, confused.
"Where is he?"
Charlotte wiped some of her tears away, though they were quickly replaced with more.
"He's in a better place now." If only she knew.
"When will he be home?"
Charlotte couldn't hold back anymore. She was now sobbing.
"What's wrong, Mommy?"
She couldn't answer right away, barely able to catch her breath while crying.
"Leslie, Sweetie. Daddy's not with us anymore, okay? I'm so sorry, but he's gone. He's never coming back to us."
She continued to sob while Leslie put the pieces together.
"No. He can't be gone. No. Not Daddy."
My little girl began crying and my heart shattered into a million pieces. Charlotte reached back and held her hand as tightly as she could. They were in so much pain, and I couldn't lift a finger to help them.
I turned away. It was too much.
"Is this your big plan? Emotional torture? I'm still not saying yes to you! You hear me?"
There was a brief period of silence followed by a voice from behind.
"Look again, Jack."
I turned back and saw him. Not in the room with me, no. He was in the projection, sitting in the passenger's seat next to my wife, waving back at me. She didn't seem to notice him at all.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
His lips contorted into a wicked grin.
"Watch this, Jack."
He grabbed the steering wheel and jostled it back and forth. Charlotte did her best to gain control, but the car was swerving all over the place.
"No! Stop it!"
He released the wheel and looked back at me.
"Agree to my terms, or they die. Which will it be?"
My heart was pounding, fear nestled in the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to give in, but I no longer had a choice in the matter. Letting him take my flesh for a joyride was a small price to pay for my family's safety.
"Fine. I'll do it."
"Good choice, Jack."
Another snap of his fingers and he returned, the projector now gone. He held out the paper and pen to me, undoubtedly anxious to claim his prize.
As I looked over the contract, I noticed the structure of the final signature block. In addition to my and the angel's signatures, an "Overseer" was required to sign.
"Who's the Overseer? Is that your boss?" I asked.
"Nothing you need to worry about. Now sign!"
It was probably nothing, but I was curious.
"Well it says here the Overseer needs to witness the signing."
He flinched every time I uttered that word.
"He will! The moment the pen touches the page, he see's what you see. Now sign it already!"
An idea came to mind. It was a long shot, but definitely worth trying before handing over my body once and for all.
"The moment the pen touches the page, eh?"
He nodded but snarled in the process, full to the brim with impatience and disdain. This would be my one and only chance. It was now or never.
"SIGN NOW, JACK!"
I put the pen to the dotted line, but didn't jot down my signature. Instead, I scribbled out a message of three words: OVERSEER COME HELP
The man grabbed the page and examined it.
"You son of a bitch!"
He reached out to grab me, but his arm was pulled away. There was now another man standing at his side.
"Overseer! I'm sorry, I-"
With a wave of his hand, the Overseer brought the man to his knees and erased his mouth all together. He then fell flat on the floor and writhed in pain. Without any audible indication of discomfort, the sight was somehow even more disturbing.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a step back, hoping I hadn't just submitted myself to a similar fate.
"Okay, Jack. What is it you need?"
I took a single preparatory breath and made my plea.
"Are there any other options for me?"
"No. Fragmenter or vessel."
All of his responses were sparse and final; clearly not the kind to mince words or beat around the bush.
"Okay. That brings me to my next question. Having no knowledge of your customs or laws, I was just wondering if this angel's behavior was, for all intents and purposes... sanctioned?"
"Behavior?" He asked.
"Yes. You see, he killed me and then coerced me into signing over my body by threatening my family's lives. Is that the sort of thing that's allowed here?"
His brows curled as he turned to the man on the floor.
With another wave of his hand, he released him.
"Is what this human says true?"
The man remained on the floor, not yet recovered from the pain. With no mouth, he simply shook his head to deny my claims.
"Fine, I'll see for myself."
The Overseer's eyes glowed blue as he reached down and held a hand to the man's head. After a minute or so, the light in his eyes faded, and he turned to me.
"It seems you were telling the truth."
His eyes then glowed red as he placed his hand back on the man, who now looked terrified, squirming in an attempt to flee. It was no use. In a fraction of a second, his body was eviscerated; turned to a pile of ash before my eyes.
He walked over to me and I backed into the wall.
"No! No, please!"
He placed his hand over my heart.
"Time to set things right, Jack. This might burn a little."
He was right. It was a fiery sensation that soon permeated my whole body. Then, just as I couldn't take anymore, a beam of light shot through the floor and enveloped me. Soon after, I lost consciousness.
As far as I could tell, I was done for.
I sprung to life on the operating table, my lungs taking in as much air as they could in one breath. An orderly was nearby, cleaning up. Thoroughly startled, he nearly fell over onto the floor.
"Oh my god! You're alive!"
He ran to the door and called out for help. Soon enough, a slew of doctors entered the room, astonished to see me breathing again. One of them, completely awestruck, pointed down at my chest.
"That mark. It wasn't there before."
Everyone in the room was looking at it. A hand-shaped burn on my chest, right where the Overseer touched me.
One of the nurses chimed in.
"Well I'll be damned."
They all scrambled to change my fluids and check my vitals. Other than the burn, there was nothing wrong with me. My injuries had healed with no medical explanation. As such, I was released shortly after with a remarkably clean bill of health; in better shape than I was before impact. As far as the doctors were concerned, it was a miracle.
I tried calling Charlotte from the hospital's landline a dozen times, but there was no answer. It was my guess that she was too grief-stricken to be bothered by her phone. With no car or anyone else to call for a ride, one of the doctors agreed to bring me home after his shift.
I couldn't wait to see my family again.
After all was said and done, I arrived home around midnight.
"Thanks, Doc. I really appreciate this."
"Don't thank me. I'm not the one who saved your life. You must have an angel up there looking out for you."
I got out of the car and looked back at him before closing the door.
"God, I sure hope not."
The doctor drove off and I ran inside, excited to share the good news and take away all the tears shed in my name.
"Charlotte! Leslie! I'm home!"
After turning the corner into the living room, I saw Charlotte, sitting by herself on the sofa.
"Honey, I'm here! I'm still here!"
She remained motionless and silent.
"Honey? Are you okay? Where's Leslie?"
She turned to me and, with the most stoic expression, offered me three words that cut my heart in two.
"Leslie's dead, Jack."
The room started spinning. Anguish overcame me as I fell onto the couch next to her.
"No... it can't be... how..."
As the tears wet my face, I noticed that Charlotte didn't appear to be sad.
"Charlotte, why aren't you crying? What happened?"
Her face lacked any and all emotion.
"There was a car accident on the way home from the hospital."
Just then, Leslie came down the stairs and sat next to her mother.
"Leslie! My little girl! You're okay!"
I reached for her, but Charlotte pushed my hand away.
"They didn't make it. We just wanted to see the man the Overseer saved. Now that we have, we can leave."
They stood up and headed for the door. That's when it sank in. The dread. The heartache. The realization.
Charlotte turned around before leaving the room. "Your wife signed a deal for the both of them. Their bodies belong to us now."
submitted by Christopher_Maxim
to nosleep [link] [comments]
2020.12.04 04:39 fatdaddycrackbaby it hurts so bad
Everyday it gets worse and worse. I have this huge ache in my heart and I just want to scream and cry. I often just sleep the days away and I get yelled at for doing so, but it’s the omly time I can leave it all. School is stressing me out so much, I literally can’t. I have so much family shit going on. I have lost every person. They always leave me and it hurts. What do I do thats so wrong? I love every single person and I support nothing but peace and love. I thought I was a good person. My own dad doesn’t love me. I don’t know man I’m just in so, so much pain. I don’t want to die, but I just genuinely can’t do this anymore. I just can’t. Somebody please help me get my head on straight, I need something to pull me back in because all of my reasons for staying aren’t working anymore and frankly, I just want to be better. :(
submitted by fatdaddycrackbaby
to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]
2020.12.04 03:35 shesaveryfreakygirl A trainwreck from the start!
So I'll begin from the start this my boyfriend of just about two years its gonna be a long onetrigger warning... We met in November it was just sex at first I fell in love probably the second time he came over. I only had one previous relationship very inexperienced in the relationship department. Hes 5 years older than me and very handsome and just way to good with his words so hes gotten around to say the least. At this point in my life I was an alcoholic drank everyday after work all night long he accompanied me in this we watched movies, laughed, talked, had amazing sex, and just layed there together letting the rest of the world disappear. One night I go through his phone an god what a wake up call he was bragging to his brother how he slept with me, another woman, and his childs mother within three days. Saying the other woman was better than me an also he was living with his childs mother at that point and time. He wakes up asking what's wrong I tell the phone hes like well we never said we were exclusive. Blah blah blah "you can have the title if you want it". After this I cut contact because well stop it why I had the chance. He calls my work asking if i was there. I gave in called him he asks what's wrong. I tell well I feel as if it was all a lie. He says it was very real I'm special blah blah blah. He comes he goes one night I discover the drug use. A different occasion he drinks almost a whole bottle of rum turns into a completely different person almost killed me like literally talking to people who weren't there. I had scratched him all up punched him all in the fight to get him from suffocating me to death. He wakes up asks what happened I'm like are you fucking serious he cries and breaks apart telling me how sorry he is that this happens sometimes. Crying in my lap. A grown man completely falling apart , vulnerable, exposed to me. This is probably when I really got myself in to deep. I'm a very good person my heart's way too big an I care entirely too much. My mother died when I was 16 , his mother died the same year. Two adults who are really broken children with no guidance or that unconditional love we became intertwined to each other. I loved him deeply gave him the kind of love he was missing. Yes it's odd but youd have to gone through it to get what I'm saying. He made me feel safe , he understood me , and he knew the only thing I desired was to just be loved. We understood eachother more then any words can explain. Even within this understanding hes hurt me than any person in my life. Fast forward he moves in after his children's mother throws him out(at the time he tells me shes crazy) I of course being the superhero I am get your stuff and live with me. So he does. The extent of the drug use comes to light. He was an intravenous user and hardcore drugs was what he liked. In February he goes to jail for probation violation for the drug use. I stay in contact , support him , put money on his books. He gets out in May comes back home with me not even a day hes getting high and drunk again. Hes hanging out with this girl brings her to my apartment with some other guy and shes a pretty blonde but they all use drugs and I know hes into that disgusting stuff he flirts with blatantly in my face. He leaves doesnt come home all night I assume he's cheating so I start messing around with my old FWB. With the use of the alcohol I didnt think clearly an took actions without thinking at all. I couldn't be alone god my heart hurt so bad I could feel it in my chest I literally thought I'd die. This other guy we had sex then talked about my relationship the whole time. I gave him my body but my mind was still obviously with him. This happened a few times I'm not justifying it at all at the time it was the only way to cope it seemed. That summer was the worst hell I've ever lived. In the mix of this there were a few other one night stands out of drunken nights I barely remember. Hes still using drugs and starts to run low on money I'm assuming and beats me up takes my rent money goes gets drugs. He comes back tells me he'll give me the majority of my money back if I do these drugs with him. I refuse and refuse. But eventually give in. He tells me its molly. He intravenously gave it to me. I went to another universe starting crying and was instantly addicted. He never gave my money back and it was meth he took my money got me hooked and I gave him everything i had. That summer in hell consisted of constantly being hit. We fell apart more than we even were but somehow the drugs seemed to bring us together. I wouldnt eat and didnt sleep for days at a time. My sanity dissapeared within about a month. I got extremely paranoid and had delusions it still sticks with me to this day. We did the same monotonous routine for almost 3 months. Towards the end we hated eachother. I couldn't do it anymore I had sores all over my body and abscesses from track marks. I'm sure people noticed at work. I wanted it to end he kept going and going till August he got picked up again on a probation violation. I got myself together as much as I could. I still was drinking socially but I wasnt feeling right an always sick. The end of August i look in the mirror at work an instantly knew i was pregnant by the shape of my stomach. I went an got a pregnancy test it turned immediately to positive. I went to the hospital I was concerned with the heavy drug use. They did a sonogram I seen my baby. I lost it. They told me the heartbeat was normal everything looked fine. I was 16 weeks pregnant. I told him while still in jail he had his doubts of if he was the father. I was so happy I felt as though this was meant to happen. How could I develop a baby inside me doing the hard drugs I was doing and I didnt eat for 4 days at a time. I had a healthy pregnancy no complications whatsoever thank god. He goes to rehab from jail. His grandmother passed while he was I'm there which pushed him and his children's mother together and he shut me out. My pregnancy was so dark and lonely and I've never felt more alone. The anxiety of how I was going to do this made me feel like I couldn't breathe.( I have no family besides my younger brother and one friend) He came home before Thanksgiving he ditches me to go stay in a hotel with his two kids and their mother. Come to find out the whole time he was lying who's house he was at and they were still together apparently. So this woman was so hurt she knew I was pregnant and who I was. She texted me saying he wants to move away with me and doesnt claim you or that baby. They dont work out he comes back later that day I tell him to go I dont want him there but he doesn't listen controls me. He gets on meth again and uses in front of me doesnt care at all about the pregnancy. He was distant and treated me horribly the time he was home. But to not confuse we had our good times. Every night we slept together intertwined bodies together and that was enough the feeling that brought me. He got in trouble again 3 weeks later for drug use goes away till my son is born in March. He gets out the day after hes born comes to hospital hours after he gets out of jail(you would think he'd be rushing there!) He says he went and got dinner with his brother and had a drink. Red flag already but hes an experienced father I'm scared I have no idea what I'm doing. He stayed with me slept on the cot in the room we held our son and felt complete for the time. The day I'm supposed to get released he dissapeared I got him a cell phone to keep in touch as he had to go to a daily reporting center to get drug tested. I dont pester him because you're not with your girlfriend and 3 day old child it's just ridiculous. I cried and cried I felt soo alone how was I gonna do this. This tiny little life I was responsible for. Two days went by I took care of my son and finally called and he was on a drug binge and met a girl. He said he would be home. I think another day went by he finally did completely out of his mind hallucinating from not sleeping and doing meth. Calling me this girls name he was partying with saying she was his soul mate. I felt so broken to be cheated on right after I gave birth and left. Now here to collect the peices again this broken man laying in my lap telling me how he hates himself and he doesnt know what to do. He needs me he loves me. Blah blah blah. We now have a child hes a great father when hes there. This reporting center gets shit down due to covid. He goes off the handles using all the time taking my money and the girl he met hes calling her and texting her sexting even. He just tells me its entertainment get over it. I eventually fall in and relapse with him I hated it the feeling the paranoia. I would sit and stare at my son. I felt so dirty. That lasted a few weeks here and there. He stopped with the women but continued with the drugs. He almost died from an infection from picking himself while high. So he switches to heroin. This makes him so angry and the things he did to me. Told me I couldn't move from the couch , threw koolaid on me, told me I could touch our son if I didn't give him money for drugs. This went on for awhile it was complete abusive hell I cried and he just was so evil and heartless. He got arrested again in August. He calls me crying saying how hes so sorry and he needs to change. This time seemed different honestly he was fully devoted to me we opened up to eachother more than before. We talked everyday multiple times a day while hes in jail. The courts let him go to rehab again because he obviously has a problem. I visited him twice the second time took his other two sons to see him the kids all played we were so happy in that moment. We talked about getting his youngest son to the other woman and made plans. This is nothing like we discussed before. I really thought he changed and we were gonna build a life together. He even opened up to me about being molested as a child. He goes through rehab and when the time comes for it to end he either comes home and goes to that same daily reporting center or goes and hour and a half a way to a sober living house. So he goes to the sober living house he comes home first gets blankets, my extra tv , towels, and just you know me playing mother again. We had sex and layed there I Express my deep concern for his issues with other woman and he tells me have confidence in myself I'm his wife blah blah blah hes coming home in a month. So off he goes the same night he video calls me when he gets there so excited to start this new start. I was happy for him but I knew somewhere inside of me I was letting him go. I knew what was gonna happen. Two days later I already have my suspicions he quiets it. I go into his email I made him for something he asked me to do for him I come across dating profile websites an ad from craigslist of a woman asking for oral sex near him and he responded. Also he made a facebook after he knew that he didnt have one in the past because all he used it for was women. He says oh the dating profiles were for webcam chatting for masturbation and the facebook to keep in touch with family. I let go a little my heart was in my stomach after months of my devotion to him it takes 2 days for him to do this to me. I go on the facebook(he didnt even use his real name) all women hes adding an are liking his pictures. An I dont need to see to know hes talking to them. He added ths girl he previously referred to as his soulmate. I'd had enough o blocked him on every single platform. He gets in contact with my bestfriend saying hes going to kill himself I cant do this I have his son. Then calls the police on me saying I'm in danger. I still wouldnt talk to him. He shows up to my house grabbing me trying to kiss me. I tell him to get away I'm done foreal this time. I changed my phone number and he threatened to take the baby if I didn't give him my number so I do. He takes my phone then and tells me unless I come with him to his fathers hes keeping it.So I get dressed and we go walking through town like a family hes asking for us back. He showed me his phone and low and behold he was doing everything I suspected. He was gonna stay the night at my house and we were going to discuss things. He was supposed to go to a NA meeting as part of having his overnight pass. He steps inside a family's restaurant to show them the baby I wait outside. Hes on the phone laughing and smiling with someone. He comes out saying hes gonna get coffee with a few guys go to the meeting and he will be home. I take my son home, hours pass and from past experience I know hes not coming back. I didnt try to call neither did he nor text. I finally called at 7am after not sleeping all night. He calls back at 10 am nonchalantly saying he couldn't get a ride back. I was done. I blocked everything didnt speak for almost a week. I let him video call his son and of course he's trying to get me back. I know I cant do this anymore an officially this man will never change. My bestfriends boyfriend lives 30 minutes from his sober living house and she asked me to come stay. I asked if she would take me to his house and I would stay the night with her. She agreed as I explained I needed closure. I wanted him to admit to what he had done to see if he could possibly be honest about it. I get there hes being weird doesnt greet me or anything. I start bickering because you should be on your knees begging for me. Anyway we go up to his room talk and it comes out "I went to the bar with my sister Brittney an oldest friend Kaitlyn". Boom. One Brittney is not your sister. Two I know friend is code for someone I have sexual history for. (I've learned to listen through the bullshit as to what he was really saying through the two years) Plus this Kaitlyn girl was all over his facebook and liked all his pictures. Oh an I didnt mention he was down in town again before this tried breaking in my apartment at 2 am then 10 am again and left without success. So my assumptions are it didnt just happen once with this girl. And he says that all the girls out there are dirty and nasty then goes on to say how women want titles and relationships. Then later on says how someone said to him they couldn't be friends with him. Maybe that girl idk. He never came clean about anything. The whole time I was quiet and distant with an attitude. Regardless of that we bonded laid in bed, kissed, he mostly talked, and I gave him oral sex. He wouldnt have sex with me claiming i would get pregnant i played the card I didnt know whod he had been with. He said that's against my rule I dont do that to my children's mothers. Well that was a lie an I called him on it. He just talked himself out of it. I end up staying the night and we fall asleep I wake up to him cuddled up to me. Here we are intertwined again bare bodies together feet touching each other. God why do I do this to myself. He had his lips on my forehead asleep. I didnt sleep that night I just let my mind wonder an embrace this because this was it I was done. This man was nothing special how had I let some child boy play with my heart for almost 2 years and cause me so much pain. I woke up at 8 am and told my friend I wanted to go he woke up to me dressed putting my shoes on. He asked what I was doing I told him I was leaving. He got very upset said at least have breakfast, let's have sex, and just pleading. My friend had to drive 30 minutes so I had a little bit of time. He starts threatening me that hes not letting me leave hes taking my phone he doesn't care about the police blah blah blah. I played him I made him love me just to leave. He was always the victim. So he makes me lay back down with him I was fully clothed he cuddles up to me asking if we were done I told him yes while crying. Because it fucking hurt an I knew it was true this time. He asked what we could do to save the relationship and got my phone went through it as he knew the passcode. He seen some promoting I was doing for my onlyfans and went ballistic calling me every name in the book. Then said let's switch phones it's probably the only way to save the relationship. I told him it was over he did what he did. My ride got there I went down the steps he asked if I loved him I didnt answer. He gave me a kiss told me he loved me an I left. I cried that whole day I felt so torn because I knew there was no saving this. I just had to feel this pain. He kept calling me and texting me saying baby. I told him to just stop I'd let him talk to his son when I got home that night. As I did but I quickly realized I couldn't have contact and heal. I texted him explaining howd he hurt me so bad and I couldn't have contact but I would send him pictures and videos of his son. (Hes not old enough to speak anyway). So I block all contact. Thanksgiving passed this past Thursday he leaves a voicemail on my phone asking to video chat sense it was the holidays. I call him hes sitting outside alone all depressed I let him see the baby he tells me we look good and said okay we're gonna go. He says so that's it that's all I get. I told him he made his choice an it was time to live with actions. I didnt speak to him again. His father got ahold of me yesterday telling me that he got arrested that night after he went got drunk and got into a fight. He was finished with probation in two weeks but now was facing new charges on top of a probation violation. So hes in a new county , hes not used to it. He sent me an email request to add his inmate number on an app to talk. I just ignored it but j cant help thinking he got exactly what he deserved. I hope he gets it now that you cant treat good people who were nothing but good to you like garbage. Somewhere in me I'm afraid he'll actually commit suicide an I know hes in a world of regret. My head tells me let it go and finally heal and move on with my life I'm better off right? Theres my heart telling me to save him that I can change him with enough love and support also that he needs me no one puts money on his books or writes him while in jail besides me. I'm not going to have contact an I'm not happy or smug because he got exactly what he deserves. I'm sad. I feel empty an I feel as though I'll never be able to love again. How do I even began to heal? This man has crushed me to pieces I act like im okay for my son but im not. I'm a single mother raising a son on my own. I dont drive , my apartment is so small, and im currently not working because of daycare. I was supposed to start school in January but my finiacal aid fell through. I just want to be happy and successful but god I'm in a million pieces and dont know where to begin to pick them up. If you read this thank you I've never told anyone the whole truth of it all but here it is.
submitted by shesaveryfreakygirl
to AsOneAfterInfidelity [link] [comments]
2020.12.04 03:30 joshuawaggoner90 I Banged a Werewolf 3/3
About an hour later I found myself standing in the middle of a field, me and Teagan propped up against each other for balance, while her mom paced circles around us. I had tried to talk her out of this and wait until we were in a little better shape, but she was having none of it.
"You will both begin learning how to transform tonight." She said from behind us.
"Come on. Isn't this kinda rushi-... Wait. BOTH?! Has Teagan never done this before either!" I croaked.
"No. When she heard how bad it hurts she decided she didn't want to. But now, with the ones who are already changed weakened, we need to teach you two."
"Oh come on is this really n-... Wait. Hey where are they?" I asked, suddenly having a thought.
"Where are who?"
"The werewolves. You know, the wolf...y ones. I think I just had an idea."
"We have them resting in that trailer over there." She pointed.
"Ok follow me for a second!" I order, wobbling in the direction of the trailer. Once I got there I stumbled through the door and over to one of the furry masses and started to comb through their hair. After searching for several minutes I found what I was looking for. A small metallic glint barely visible on a patch of skin and few strands of fur.
"Look guys. You see that? What's that look like to you?" I asked them.
"Paint? Maybe?" Teagan answered.
"Nah... I think that's mercury. I'd bet on it. I think I know where the silver myth comes from and I think Michelle pumped them full of a heavy dose of mercury... Ok... Yeah, I think I have an idea. Here, give this bank card to someone and tell them to buy every single old timey thermometer they can find. I mean every last one in this village and the next. And then bring them back here. OH! And as many of those big turkey syringes they can find. And gloves. Big industrial rubber gloves." I instructed as I reached into my wallet and pulled out the plastic card.
"And what are you going to do?" Teagan's mom asked as she took the card from my hand.
"I guess I'm going to figure out this being a werewolf thing..."
"YOU KEEP SAYING THAT BUT IT'S NOT HELPING!!" I shouted after the second day in a row of Teagan's mom hounding me. "You can say feel the change a million times but I still don't know what the hell you're talking about!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT LISTENING TO ME!"
"WOULD YOU BOTH BEING QUIET?!" Teagan yelled over us as she flexed and curled her fingers. "I think I am getting onto something." She added as I noticed her hand start to darken and her fingernails began to rise and peel away from the skin.
"Oh my god are the claws coming out from under her fingernails?! YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THAT! Why do they do that?! That's so fucked up! Um... hey Teagan's mom... I'm kinda starting to have second thoughts here..." I complained.
But she just swatted me in the back of the head and told me to be quiet. Then we stood there and watched Teagan struggle to extend the claws out of her fingers.
"Um... It might be a little late to ask, but once we figure out the change to part... What about the change back part?" I asked nervously.
"We cross the bridge when we get to it." Teagan's mom answered.
"There is a bridge now?" Teagan called over form where she was still working on her claws. "What has a bridge to do with this?"
"... She's your daughter." I said to her mom who was just shaking her head in disappointment.
"Hey, Teag, it's just an expression. There's no bridge. Just keep working on your fingering. I mean... no wait. That didn't come out r-... Keep doing what you're doing sweetheart." I reassured her. "Ok, now can you please try to explain this to me... PLEASE?"
A few days later I was starting to get the hang of it. But as I did I learned a few... unpleasant truths about the process. First, that my god damn bones break themselves apart and fill in the empty spaces over and over like... really freaking fast, and don't get me started on how changing back works... The movies and books really dropped the ball on that one.
The stack of old thermometers kept getting larger every day but we still hadn't been able to figure out where the big bad wolf was hiding out. "Do we even know where we're supposed to be looking?" I asked as I finished destroying the toilet later that night.
"You smell like something crawled inside of you and died..." Teagan's mom half gagged as I walked out.
"You're the one who keeps stuffing me full of food to change with. It's not my fault your weird Romanian food turns to pure hate inside me." I said as Teagan walked past me to take her turn in the bathroom, her almost completely transformed arms nearly dragging across the floor. "Ok that looks REALLY weird from the outside."
About the time I finished my sentence someone slung the door open and stuck their head inside... which he immediately regretted judging by the look on his face. Once he managed to recover he looked toward Teagan's mom and said something in Romanian. When she hear what he said she stood up and said, "We might know the area he's hiding. He said that someone saw that carriage woman on the other side of town but they don't know where she was leaving or going to."
"Well that's something right? I mean at least there haven't been any giant werewolf sightings yet." I replied.
"Yes. We knew it would take him some time to recover, so for that we are very lucky." She said.
"Um..." The man sticking his head through the door started before saying something in Romanian.
"Yes I know it is bad. You may go now. WAIT... Leave the door open." She told him as he left.
"So... What exactly makes this guy so bad? I never got the whole story." I asked.
"He is, what is the word... What you call a psychopath. He enjoys seeing things suffer, and"
"When you can turn into a giant wolf monster that can heal in an instant that's not a great mix?" I finished for her.
"More or less, that is right. And he will very likely want to take revenge on the people who have been holding him captive all these centuries. Which is probably the only reason he would stay in the area. It would be almost impossible to find him if he were to leave." She explained.
"So... you're all basically standing around acting like bait for this guy?"
"I am not standing!" Teagan shouted from the bathroom.
"I didn't mean literally standing!" I called back. "Everything ok in there?!"
"I do not want to talking about it!"
After a few more days Teagan's mom had determined that me and Teagan could make the full change once we needed to. But her mom had explained that we would need a ridiculous amount of food inside us to make a full change. Apparently experienced werewolves can start changing and take in more food as they go. Like the one we were after, unfortunately enough. But from what I heard, it sounds like some kind of super metabolism.
But it starts to get really silly when you realize what it means if you can't do that and have to pack in enough food to instantly grow from 5 foot something to over 7 feet with a build like Mr. Olympia. Ever seen Willy Wonka? Yeah, again... much less visually aesthetic than the movies.
So after learning that I'll have to basically be stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey I brought everyone to the now sizable pile of old thermometers and had Teagan's mom help explain the plan to everyone. Which if you haven't figured it out yourself already, was to use the mercury from the thermometers in the giant syringes to basically baste big bag into a coma until they can figure out what to do with him. The problems were in finding him and literally everything between that and him being unconscious. From what Teagan's mom told me it had taken a small army to catch him the first time and well... we barely had a small gang at the time. So none of us were looking forward to what came next.
Tensions started to rise after we were told that we were running out of time until he would have recovered. Everyone was freaking out and had their noses to the grind stone trying to figure out this insane game of hide and seek. And just as we started to get desperate we got lucky. I think... Me and Teagan were both passed out on the couch after a night of prowling around the village when her mom practically kicked the door in.
"Someone has seen the carriage woman in town buying a lot of meat!" She shouted into the room.
"M... Mmm... Get back here and I breaking your legs." Teagan mumbled as she woke up.
"What the hell do you dream about?... And what about meat?" I asked her mom.
"The woman has been seen buying piles of meat in town but we lost her." She answered.
"So we have an idea where to look now?"
"Come back with my coconut..."
"Teag... Baby... Wake up. You're chasing coconuts. Get your head in the game." I said, shaking her awake as carefully as possible. She tends to come up swinging sometimes.
"Hmm? What game we are playing?" She mumbled, wiping her eyes.
"You're adorable... But it's time to get up. We have to go look for the bad guys again." I told her as she woke up. "We know where to look this time." I added when I saw the agitated look on her face.
"Where is this place?" She asked.
"The market on the far side of town. If we wait long enough we will likely see her again. And then we can follow her back to him." Her mom explained.
"OH! Is this a stake out?! Are we doing a stake out?!" I blurted out.
"Oh my god this is taking forever..." I complained after sitting on the rooftop of a building across the street from the deli for most of the day.
"Hush. You were the one who was excited about this earlier."
"I didn't know it would take this long..."
"Be quiet. I already told you how serious this is. If she is taking meat to him then he is likely already changing. If this is true he will be much harder to deal with now." She hissed at me under her breath.
"I think I am seeing her." Teagan suddenly said, causing us both to look down to the deli.
And there she was, looking back and forth as she tiptoed into the building. We all shifted in place as the situation set in. Once we collected ourselves we rushed down stairs and got ready to follow her. A few minutes later she finally walked back out. And I don't know if you've ever tailed anyone before... but it's really effing hard. Turns out not being seen by one person makes you look really god damn weird to everyone else...
We followed her for about a mile before she rounded a corner just ahead of us. "She's just up ahead." I told them as I tried to speed up to keep from losing her. But before I could reach the corner a crazy strong gust of wind blew threw the alley and almost knocked me over. By the time I was able to turn the corner she was already gone.
"WHAT THE HELL SHE WAS RIGHT THERE!" I groaned as I looked down the empty street.
"You said this woman drives a wagon around yes?" Teagan's mom asked as she pulled out an old book and sat it on the table in her home.
"Yeah... Old black wagon, horses and everything."
"Mhmm..." She mumbled to herself as she flipped through the book page by page.
"I uhh... Is this like a book about monsters or something?" I asked.
"So you just have an old book of monsters sitting around?"
"Of course. Do you not?" She asked back.
"Maybe... but not one this ol-"
"AH HERE IT IS!" She suddenly shouted, almost causing me to almost fall out of my chair.
"Jesus what?! What's here?!" I croaked.
"This woman is probably a vantoase. An evil wind spirit that travels by wagon."
"Oh of course... Why wouldn't everything suddenly get twice as weird. I've been carted around by a demon this whole time." I sighed. "This place is ridiculous."
"Look here!" Teagan's mom told me, turning my head to look at the book. "You too Teagan! This might help. It is said they live in lakes and in the woods... So-"
"So we can rule out lakes because Big Bad probably isn't handing out at the bottom of a pond?"
"Exactly. So we must search the woods near the place she vanished first." She declared as she whipped out a map. "Go, go get everyone together now and meet me out front."
So me and Teagan take off and start rounding up every changed werewolf we could find, or the Woofwaffe as I had started to call them. Cause you know, nothing lightens the mood like a Nazi pun... Anyway, after we had collected the gang of werewolves together(yes I realize how that sounds and somehow it's still not the weirdest thing going on), we all met up where Teagan's mom told us to.
"When we got there she aleady had the basting syringes and salvaged mercury ready. "Here, help me fill them." She instructed, handing me a pair of the rubber gloves. "You are sure this will work?" She asked as I took them.
"Uh... I have no idea. I'm shooting in the dark here."
Then she stopped and starred at me for a second in silence. "You what?"
"Hey if you have a better idea I'm waiting to hear it. Personally I'd rather not have to get close enough to that thing and get ripped in half like a phone book and then try to jab the bastard with a turkey baster, but I'm trying ok?"
Taking a deep breath, Teaan's mom spoke again, "... We need to get you ready. Go with Teagan." And with that she turned and began speaking to someone else in Romanian.
"Come with me." Teagan said, taking me by the wrist and leading me to another trailer.
"What are we doing now?" I asked as she pulled me along.
"Everyone who can change into wolf will. "
"Ohhh... So food?" I asked again.
"This is right. But you and me will change later. We will search near the boarder of the town first. It is easier to do this in human form-"
"Instead of as 7' foot wolves?" I finished for her.
I grossly underestimated the amount of food I'd have to put in my body... Let me just say, for the record, that Kyle Hill would be very happy to know that to turn from a 170 something pound person to a 400lb werewolf... even with the crazy werewolf metabolism, you still need more than 230lbs of food inside you which is not an easy thing to do in a hurry, because science.
Why is this important you might ask? Wait for it... Just wait for it...
So there I was, next to Teagan, waddling through the streets of Romania, parts of me rubbing against other parts of me they've never rubbed against before. "Teag... Teagan I can't breathe... TEAGAN WAIT I CAN'T BREATHE YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME!" I begged though my abnormally puffy cheeks.
She stopped and rocked herself to face my direction. "I am beginning to thinking this is not so as inconspicuous as I originally thinking..." She admitted, looking at my John Pinette-esque figure struggling to stay upright. She was having a lot easier time holding her body up than I was, and that was when we both realized that it was because of her unusual strength.
"Teag... I need to tell you something really important... Come closer..." I wheezed.
"What is the matter?" She asked, leaning in towards me.
"Teagan... Teagan, it's my stomach. If I fart right now it's gonna go off like a land mine. Whole street's gonna wake up."
"You are gross!" She half scolded half laughed as she slapped me in the arm.
"Hell of a honeymoon isn't it?" I joked as she helped me stand up and start back down the street.
"Oh yeah... We are married are we not? I almost forget because of evrything." She thought out loud as we continued our waddle together.
After a while we could finally see the woods in the distance. We decided on taking a quick rest since I was on the verge of passing out. Teagan helped me lower myself down onto a bench, which after a moment I noticed the bent street sign. I had just realized where we were.
"Son... of a... bitch..." I huffed. "Are we... outside the inn?" I asked. I had been living in Teagan's caravan since I left for the bait and switch wedding that day. "Hey... Teag... I think... I just-" I started to say but a loud crash and a sharp scream broke the silence.
We both jumped up off the bench and sprinted towards the diretion of the scream... kinda. "You go ahead and look around! I will go ahead and change in this alley!" Teagan shouted but behind me as she bounced her way in between two shops.
"Oh my god Teag! Teag get back here! I'm already freaking out and you're going to tell me to just charge in by myself?!... TEAGAN! DAMN IT!" I hissed after her. But she didn't answer, so after a few seconds I started to slowly shuffle towards the sound. Before long I noticed a gigantic hole in the side of a home near the woods. "Ohhh... boy... Don't worry Milo you're just a 400lb marshmallow investigating a blood curdling scream in the middle of Dracula's back yard with an evil werewolf running loose... What could possibly happen?"
I tiptoed as best I could through the yawning opening in the house and into the dark ruin just on the other side. I could feel an awful sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and it got worse each slow, shaky step I took. I could feel my breath shorten as I inched closer to the stairs. And just as I raised my foot to take the first step... I heard the sound of crunching glass behind me.
By the time I could spin around something had already wrapped around my neck. I felt my feet lift off the ground and my back slam against the wall. There was gust of hot air as an earsplitting roar shook the house. My ears still ringing, the monster lowered his head down to my face.
"Uggg grandma, what bad breath you have... Is that blood? That's blood isn't?" I groaned, my new chins almost covering my bottom lip as the thing's hand squeezed my throat. In the faint light I could see a thick red fluid dripping from his snout. Then the nightmarish realization of what had happened in the home just before I got there danced through my mind.
"Small world, am I right?" Michelle's voice spoke from beside me. "Have you gained a little weight?"
"Well you know it's been kinda hard to get to the gym lately." I coughed. "So I had a thought before KAH, KAH! Before you're home invasion. You were using me from the start weren't you?"
"Well aren't you a cleaver little cub. Drop him big guy." She told the beast who let me crumple to the floor. "Yes, yes I was. I've been funneling idiots like you into that pub ever since I caught on to that woman's little secrect. Do you know what it's like spending five years trying to get a woman laid? I knew if I could get her to accidentally turn someone she'd have to take you back to their little base camp."
"Yeah ok but why though?" I gasped from the rubble on the ground.
"Hmm. I guess it's been so long I don't exactly remember why. Something to do with... a plan I think..."
"Are... Are you serious? You really don't remember?" I asked in astonishment.
"No you moron. I'm a vantoase. Sewing chaos and destruction is in my nature. And well... Look at him. He's the walking manifestation of it." She told me, gesturing at the behemoth looming over me.
"They grow up so fast don't they?" I mocked, trying to rock myself off a piece of wood that was jammed into my ass check. Now able to get a good look I could see that he wasn't as large as he was in the prison, but he was still bigger than all the other wolves in the village. "So what happens now?" I questioned.
"Once we get this guy back to full strength we're going to go tear that little village and everyone in it to pieces. Then move on to bigger and better things I suppose. Why so curious?"
"Same reason Hitler killed himself."
"STALLIN'!!" I yelled as I jammed the baster into the monster's thigh and emptied the mercury into it. I dove to one side as Teagan, finally a full sized werewolf, lunged into the house from the outside, drilling him in the back and sending him crashing into the far wall almost knocking it down. "YES!! THAT'S MY WIFE!" I shouted before coming to senses. "Ooo... Oooooo..." I whimpered as I tried to scuttle away from the melee behind me as Teagan and Big Bag rolled across the floor tearing the house apart.
But I didn't get too far before I felt a sharp pain in my back... right before my legs went numb. I turned to look over my shoulder to see the monster's claws imbedded deep into my spine. I screamed in agony as Teagan jumped back on top of him causing the talons to be ripped from my back. I struggled to drag myself into a far room as I felt the separated vertebrae trying to reconnect and repair themselves.
"Wow... that's a lot of damage..." I managed to cough as I pulled myself around the corner into the kitchen. "Ok... Just remember what that mean old hag told you..." I gasped to myself as I fought for air. Slowly I closed my eyes and tried to focus. After a few seconds I could start to feel it happen... and it wasn't great. Imagine having you're whole body torn apart and going "Ok, more of that then. Let's keep it going." It was unimaginably difficult, but the sound of Teagan's struggle in the background kept me motivated.
I knew I was almost there once I felt the nails being lifted and torn off my fingers and toes as the bone stretched out into long, pointed claws. Finally I stood, wobbling on my new legs. (it's really weird standing on legs with an extra bend in them when you never have before) Once I was able to stabilize myself I crept around the corner where the squall was still raging and got a good eye on Big Bad. Once I had a clean shot I made my move.
I went much, much faster than I ever expected and the next thing I new I was outside awkwardly picking myself off the cobble stone street. Apparently I dove straight through the far wall. I looked back to see three heads looking over the rubble where the wall used to be, all starring at me in confusion. "I'm not used to this ok!" I tried to shout at them, but it just came out as some kind of weird whining, wheezing noise. "Oh right... Can't talk like this." I thought to myself. Teagan just shook her head in disappointment before the brawl started back up, but only for a second before she was launched through the hole herself and out in the street next to me.
As she got back to her feet she held up her own syringe, now empty. We both turned to see him shaking his head, the metal now taking a noticeable effect. "What the?... YOU LITTLE SHIT! You figured out the mercury didn't you?!" Michelle growled at me as I grinned back at her and shrugged my shoulders. "Are you going to be ok? We need to get out of here. That's too much in your body. You're not big enough y-"
But her voice was cut short as he lunged at her, knocking her down behind the crumbling wall. We heard a few moments of horrible screaming and agonizing wailing then... silence again. After a few moments he stood back up, a single arm hanging from his jaws.
I turned slowly towards Teagan as if to ask "What happens when a werewolf eats another supernatural being?" And the look she gave me said, very clearly "Run." So we both took off in a panic down the street. In the distance we could here him tearing himself out of the desolated home and begin to follow. Teagan was starting to break away since I still wasn't used to the new legs, occasionally tripping over myself as I ran.
As we ran I could hear the the massive creature getting closer and closer and closer. And then... we hit a dead end. Brick and stone on all sides. We literally ran straight in between a rock and a hard place. We both turned, Teagan MUCH more ready to fight than me, who, even though aware of my new durability, was still very well aware that shit still hurts. "Oh hell... I guess let's do this then..." I thought to myself as he began to creep towards us with a deep snarl, raking his claws across the stone walls ripping deep gashes down them.
There he was, baring down on us both, already much bigger than before. I felt by body start to tighten as Teagan began to lower herself to charge forward. And then... he looked up. Curious to what he found so important at a time like that, I looked up to.
If you had told me when I boarded the plane to come to Romania that the most relief I'd ever feel in my life would be realizing I was surrounded by werewolves I'd think you'd lost your mind, But there they were, all around us on the roofs, large turkey basters full of mercury in their hands. And all at once they pounced causing a chaos like you've never heard. Just a moment before I would have thought that would have been enough, but after a few moments it was starting to look like he was getting the upper hand, the occasional wolf being thrown out of the pile with a chunk missing from it.
I tried to shout and tell them that he was taking bites out to get bigger and stronger, but again all that came out was the same wheezing noise from before. Before long Big Bad was basically winning, and the neighbors were probably freaking the absolute fuck out too, but the bad guy winning thing was probably the bigger issue.
Noticing a few of the syringes laying on the ground, I ran and picked them up, handing Teagan a few and nodding my head in the direction of the brawl. We both took our chance as soon as he was distracted, his jaws clamped down on my neck as I dove for him. I heard a sharp whine as he caught Teagan's head in one of his massive clawed hands and began to try to crush her skull in his grip. Luckily I was able to sink two of the syringes into his back, but I didn't have time to see what happened after wards. I felt the set of jaws tighten, squeezing down on my throat with unimaginable force.
Then the world was gone.
I snapped back to consciousness as I was being carried back though the trail into the small village. They took me into Teagan's house and laid me down next to where she was curled up waiting. I rolled over and rested my head on her still fur covered shoulder. I chuckled to myself as I though, "Hey look, puppy love."
We both decided not to turn back for a few days so we could take the chance to get used to the different anatomy, and we spent that time communicating through really big markers and note pads. And for those sick few of you who are going to ask... The answer is yes, and we will never mention it again.
I was told that once I got Big Bad with my turkey basters that let Teagan get hers straight into his heart. That one seemed to finally put him down and out and he was being given a constant dose of more mercury to keep him that way until they were able to get the guy who originally built the prison to come back and fix the situation. Who and how... I have no idea. But they seemed to have figured it out somehow. I didn't see the guy when he was there, but the crazy son of bitch really did it.
He got Big Bad back inside with the chains and everything. I decided to just let it go. I was sick of keeping up with all the insanity all the impossible shit that was going on around that crazy place.
"I have an idea..." I told Teagan a few days later as I walked up to her.
"What is this idea?" She asked.
"So I was thinking that, you know... Maybe I kinda like the idea of being married to you. But um... I wanted to ask if you uh..."
"You are wanting to know if I want to be married to you?" She helped me.
"Yeah, more or less."
Then she reached her arms out and gave me a hug, pulling me close to her. "You are annoying and weird and ridiculous and I don't understand any of the references to make and you accidentally helped let an evil werewolf out of his prison."
"But I love you. You are good person and I like... what's the word... Tormenting you?" She said. "So yes, I am happy being married to you."
"Ok... Good. So I was thinking about another thing..."
Two weeks later I had rented out the Vlad Tepes castle and we were having a real, non shotgun wedding that also wasn't interrupted by an evil wind spirit. Which is generally considered a good thing. The day before we both had bands tattooed on our ring fingers. The idea being that if we had to change in a hurry for whatever reason we didn't have a metal band wrapped around a fast swelling finger, which would hurt... bad.
So me and Teagan, having met only a little more than a month before, where now both standing at the alter, getting married in Dracula's castle. I even had my mom flown in, along with my first addition copy of Bram Stokers's Dracula which we used in place of a Bible, and an ordained Dudist Priest from the First International Church of The Dude to marry us. It's a real thing. Look it up.
So yeah... That's how my trip to Romania went. Met an evil wind spirit, the evil wind spirit set me up with a girl in a pub, the pub girl took my virginity and turned me into a werewolf (you know, that old chestnut), I accidentally led the evil spirit to like the most dangerous monster ever, and I got married... twice... in Dracula's castle. Do I know how to vacation or what?
After all that me and Teagan decided to go back to America. She wanted to see my home and learn where I came from. And we also had this hilarious idea to turn into wolves and scare the absolute shit out of campers in the woods... Ah, good times, good times. Her mom also gave us that old book of hers. She said it might come in handy one day and we should get to know as much as we can about the different things that are out there.
Personally I think I'd make an awesome werewolf superhero, like Blade's fur-sona or something. I haven't decided yet. But I'm pretty sure it's going to go one of two ways. Either the whole "With great power comes great responsibility!" routine, or "HI I'M JOHNNY KNOXVILLE!! WELCOME TO JACKASS!!"
Maybe you'll hear about my exploits online one day. Who knows?
submitted by joshuawaggoner90
to DrCreepensVault [link] [comments]
2020.12.04 03:29 joshuawaggoner90 I Banged a Werewolf 1/3
It all starts with, well...me, Milo. My parents moved to Kentucky from California when my mom was still pregnant with me. And that's where I spent most of my childhood. My dad left me and my mom when I was 6 to move to Nashville and become a country star. More on that later... maybe.
As you can imagine, growing up with a single parent, I didn't have very much. I can honestly say I never really caught myself wanting much, but we did struggle from time to time. And it only took inviting a friend over once and having them point out all the stuff we didn't have to put a stop to that. But it all started to change when I first met my grandfather from California. He hadn't even known I existed until right before that, which I assumed was because he had some kind of falling out with my mom before she left. Turns out he made a killing in the movie industry running a special effects company.
It just so happens that I had developed a real fondness for movies over the years, since my mom worked in a video rental store(when they still existed) and free rentals was like literally the only perk to that job. So that and my lack of friends naturally led to an obsession with all things cinematic. So imagine my surprise and excitement when I found out my grandfather's company had done effects for some of my favorite movies.
Before long I was allowed to visit him, since he had been lonely after my grandmother died, unfortunately before I was able to meet her, he was always happy to let me come stay with him when school was out for the summer. I was always crazy excited to go on these trips, where I'd spend most of my time with him in the various workshops of his company during the day and watching all kinds of movies with him at night. Aside from being one of the nicest people you could imagine, he had a mischievous side to him as well. He would constantly play jokes and pranks on his employees and would frequently let me help pull them off.
My home life also got better since he was sending us money here and there to make sure we didn't hurt for anything we might need. He slowly took the role of the missing father figure in my life over the years. Until one day we got a call a few days before I was supposed to graduate and leave for California to start officially apprenticing at his company.
It was a heart attack.
He had it while he was alone in his home and couldn't get help fast enough on his own. The cleaning lady found him laying there dead the next day. I... didn't take it well, at all. I didn't leave the house for weeks. I missed graduation and everything. Then we got another call. They had found a will in my grandfather's house. He left every dollar he had to me. Just an INSANE amount of money. He always lived really modestly so I never really new how rich he was until that moment.
It took a while before I decided what to do with it. So long that the weeks became months and by then winter was setting in. But it all came together when I was sitting in my room staring at my movie collection. Then I caught sight of my row of Dracula movies sitting next to the first edition copy of the novel my grandfather had given me for my birthday years ago. He used to joke that he got it from the real Dracula himself. Probably meant Bela Lugosi or something. He was pretty old after all. That was the moment the idea popped into my head.
Long story short, I bought my mom a nice house and made sure she had enough money to never need to work again. But made sure the house was big enough for her to complain about having to clean. The only thing she hated more than the idea of someone she didn't know being set loose in her home was not having something to complain about. And then I set off for Romania. Random I know, but you do weird shit when you're grieving. Don't judge me.
The flight ended up getting delayed and I took that time to look up the area and find a guide and translation service. Most of the ones I could find required more notice ahead of time to book, except for one. Mofucious's Romanian Guide Service. The name was kinda ominous but they offered a full guide and linguistic service and they were literally the only one available on such short notice. So... I made a reservation.
Not too long after that I landed at Transilvania International Airport, and this is where the story your're here for really starts. By the time I walked outside and looked out into the night under the glow of the yellow "Transilvania Airport" letters, it was almost midnight. It was a tiny airport, not even relative to the ones I was used to. Just small. I've seen bigger parking lots in front of Dollar Generals. Right next to it there was something that looked like a gas station, or maybe a bus stop. And across the road there was nothing. Just an almost endless expanse of fields speckled with a tree here and there that rapidly faded into darkness at the end of the light's reach.
Once I got off the plane I got a confirmation email that told me to take a bus from the airport to a different location where the guide would pick me up. Seemed weird, especially since it didn't tell me what time the bus would arrive or why we had to go to a different place or anything.
But as the suspicions crossed my mind I spied two men standing in front of what seemed to be a decommissioned fighter jet made airport lawn ornament. They both turned away as soon as they saw me notice them, making them seem even shadier than they already did. "Someone call Liam Neeson. This is where I get sold to a creepy old European dude." I thought only half jokingly to myself as the men turned to face me again and started walking my way.
The hiss of the bus's brakes scared my attention in its direction. Oh sweet diesel powered salvation... Picking up both my bags I climbed as fast as I could into the bus, which was empty except for the driver, who had a nervous look on his face. Me too buddy, me too.
"Uh, hi. What's up?" I asked. The driver just pointed, directing me to take a seat on the bus. As we pulled off I tried to look for the two men, but they seemed to have taken off.
The ride lasted a good while, which after we got away from the open areas, was mostly just heading deeper and deeper into the Transilvanian woods on darker and darker backroads. The bus finally came to rest under what seemed like the only street light I had seen for miles, a decrepit bus stop sign hanging from the lone light pole.
Once the doors creaked open I got up, grabbed my bags, and made my way up to the front of he bus. As I did my eyes met the driver's one last time and saw the mournful look on his face as I exited. Once my feet touched the ground the bus roared to life again and took off the opposite direction into the dark, leaving me there to shiver in the cold under my lonely street lamp in the middle of the woods.
After about 10 more minutes of shaking and trying to rub my hands together for warmth, I heard a sound coming towards me on the road. But not the sound of a car or another bus. Hooves. Hooves and the rattle of wood.
And then it made its way into the light. A horse drawn carriage. All black. Black horses, black carriage, even the driver wore a large, hooded, black cloak the obscured their face. Slowly and cautiously I stood and made my way over. As I got closer I could hear a deep, raspy breath coming from the hood of the driver as a sudden, strong wind cut across the road, chilling me to the bone.
"M-Mofucious?" I asked the grim figure on top of the carriage. They responded only by extended a black gloved hand, taking me by the shoulder, and guiding my into the carriage.
Once I was in and seated the cart began to move. Terror and sense of impending doom aside, at least it was a little warmer in the carriage and away from the wind chill. I rode for around 30 minutes until I heard the wheels transition from asphalt to what sounded like cobble stone, and soon after I began to see the lights of a village appear through the windows.
Not long after that we pulled up to a small inn. At which point the driver descended from their seat and made for the inn's entrance. Several minutes later they returned with a room key, which they handed to me after opening the door and directing me out onto the stone street.
"Um, thanks." I said, taking the key. "So... I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" I asked. To which the driver nodded, placing a hand on my shoulder once again, pushing me towards the front door of the inn.
I walked up to the front desk, hearing the carriage begin to leave outside. Before I could open my mouth to speak the guy at the desk pointed me down a hallway, which I assumed would be where I found my room. It wasn't. I wandered arount for about 15 minutes before I realized my room was upstairs... on the opposite side of the inn.
I was so tired I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.
Once the sunlight shining in through the window finally woke me up, I got out of bed, put some fresh clothes on, and headed down stairs. Since I didn't know what time my guide was supposed to come back, I figured it would be better to go ahead and be ready for them instead of keeping their creepy ass waiting.
I stood on the cobble stone street, looking up and down the road for them. After waiting outside for a while I ran back inside to answer the call of nature, and by the time I came back out the carriage was already there waiting for me.
I looked up to where the driver from last night sat, but this time instead of the grim reaper looking figure from before, I just saw... a woman. A regular woman. "Uhhh... Hello. Are you, I mean... What happen to the other driver?" I asked her.
"What other driver?" She asked back so that now I could also tell that she sounded as American as I was.
"You know, the one with the death rattle breath and the black cloak and shit." I explained.
"Oh, that was me." She answered plainly.
"What?! Then what was with the scaring me half to death junk?!" I questioned up a towards her from the ground.
"What do you... Oh! Right right. It was cold as balls last night and my nose was stopped up so bad I couldn't even talk. I must have been quite the sight." She chuckled.
"Oh, ok... That makes sense I guess. But what the hell is with the scary name and the old school horse and wagon deal?" I asked.
"It's good for business. Tourists coming to Transilvania eat that stuff up. You've already met my assistants, Cerberus and Medusa." She explained, guesturing to the two horses attached to the carriage. "Isn't that why you picked my service?"
"Oh, well honestly I didn't think to look for one until I was on the plane and you were the only one available on that short of notice..." I answered kind of apologetically. "Hey, now that I think of it, you took me straight to the inn to drop me off last night. How'd you know I hadn't found a place to stay yet?"
"Well... you filled out the services needed rendering section on the website and said you needed accommodations." She replied.
"I did? Jesus I must have been tired. I don't even remember that. Oh well. Anyway, I'm Milo." I said.
"Michelle. Michelle Woody." She said back. "So Mr. Milo, where are we going?"
"Oh... I hadn't actually thought ahead that far..." I admitted, pausing as I climbed into the carriage. "Any suggestions?..."
"How about a pub?" She suggested.
"I'm... 19." I said. "And it's like 10 in the morning."
"We're in Romania. The drinking age is 18 here. And it's 3 in the afternoon." She said.
"Oh, shit, you're right." I mumbled, checking the time on my phone. "Ok. Pub it is. Let's get hammered." I said, stepping the rest of the way into the carriage.
We rode up to a back alley pub who's name I can't begin to pronounce, but the sign had a duck with a stool sitting on top of it, whatever the hell that means. "This place looks like dump..." I mentioned, taking in the shambled look.
"That's how you know it's good. When it comes to pubs, the worse they look on the outside, the better they are on the inside." She said.
"That doesn't sound like it makes a whole lot of sense, but I'll take your word for it." I conceded as we walked through the door.
When we entered we were greeted by, well... an angel. By which I mean the most gorgeous woman I'd ever lain eyes on. And then, as I stood there with my jaw hanging open, she spoke to us in the most beautiful Romanian accent.
"Oh! Hello Michelle! You bring us another customer I see!"
"Wait... You don't have some kind of business arrangement with this out-house do you?" I asked suspiciously, cutting my eyes at the her.
"What? Of course not!" My guide replied defensively. "This just happens to be the best pub in town."
"Wow... I'd hate to see the ones that managed to limbo under that bar..." I mumbled to myself as we made our way through the place and found a table. "So... you know that woman? Who is she? I mean... What's her name?"
"Oh ho! Why so curious? Somebody have a little crush? HEY TEAGAN! THIS GUY SAYS HE LIKES Y-" She tried to shout across the room before I managed to scramble to her side and put my hand over her mouth.
"WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP!" I hissed loudly in her ear.
I took my hand off once I heard her start giggling from underneath it, allowing her to speak. "Ok ok, yes I know her. That's Teagan. She supposed to live in a caravan somewhere but nobody knows where it is."
"So is she a gypsy or something?" I blurted out.
"Shut up stupid!" She exclaimed, thumping me on the head. "She is but they don't like that word. They're called Romani dipshit."
"You're an aggressive ass tour guide you know that?!" I barked back, rubbing the sore spot on my temple.
"What would you like me to get for you?" A heavenly voice spoke from behind me.
I turned to see the lady from the front door standing patiently waiting with a smile on her face. "I uh, duh... um... I-uh... Drink please." I partially stammered. To which she just raised her eyebrows, apparently expecting something much less stupid to come out of my mouth.
"Oh, hey there. I'll take my usual and one more for the mute, please." Michelle ordered, pointing to me, who's mouth was still moving soundlessly.
"I will get you your drinks." The woman declared before leaving our table and heading to the bar.
"So, where am I? I mean, like... where did you bring me?" I asked.
"Buddy, you are in the village of Orasul Protejat de Lupi." The told me. "But the locals nickname for it is Yerba because of all the special herbs that grow here."
"And where is that exactly? I didn't see it when I was looking up places on Google Maps to visit while I'm here." I prodded.
"Yes well you wouldn't find it there. I've tried to figure out why but haven't found anything concrete. Though the general consensus seems to be the the Romanian government struck a deal with Google to keep it hidden away. That way it helps preserve a small piece of Romania as it was. A little hidden gem for the occasional traveler to stumble across and experience." She explained.
"I have heard of Google taking things off of maps before for all kinda reasons. So maybe it's not completely impossible." I reasoned. "Glad I picked your company."
The woman returned a few minutes later with a couple of glasses which she sat on the table. Not that I was expecting her to sit them on the floor or our heads or something... So I'm not entirely sure why I mentioned that she put them on the... Whatever. Anyway, she brought us our drinks. I was kinda surprised because I was expecting some kind of ale with the foam and all warm and junk. But is was a colorful, fruity looking drink with ice cubes in it. And despite the cross looks it got me from some of the more gruff and haggard men in the pub, it tasted pretty good.
By the time I was almost finished with my first one she was three in and on her fourth. "So you're just gonna get drunk on the clock?" I asked.
"That's for... why... because I got the horses." She slurred out. "They'rer-r-r-r really good horses. I can get hackin' fummered and they'll take care of everything."
"I take it back, you're a horrible tour guide."
"Y-you're a horrible tour guide." She replied, poking me in the chest and almost falling out of her chair.
While she was attempting to resituate herself after leaning out of her seat to poke me, I tipped my glass up to take the last sip from it. As the ice cubes slid down and hit my lips I found myself face to face with... a spider, frozen in one of the cubes... in the glass I had been drinking from the whole time. I choked and spewed the reminding liquid in my mouth all over the table as I tumbled backwards onto the floor.
As I was getting back to my feet I saw and heard my waitress, Teagan, rolling and cackling uncontrollably on the floor. When I reached down and picked up the fake ice cube off the table to examine it, Michelle took a break from her own laughter to speak.
"I swear they never suspect her to have a mischievous side." She said as she chuckled into her drink. "She got your ass good."
"I walked around the table and dropped the fake cube onto the waitress's chest and spoke in my best Daffy Duck impression, "Of courth you realith... that thith meanth war." And with that I walked out the front door, contemplating my sweet revenge as I made my way to the carriage. Where I sat for about 30 seconds before I realized I had to pay for my drink and retrieve my plastered tour guide.
I walked back out of the pub after brushing of the second wave of laughter my walk of shame caused me, and situated Michelle into the back of the carriage before hoisting myself into the driver's seat. "How do you work this thing?!" I called down to her. To which she just whistled, causing the horses to spring to life and trot down the cobblestone road.
A few minutes later the horses stopped on the outside of my inn to let me off and for Michelle to take my place in the driver's seat. "So... what was her name again?" I asked as she climbed her way up to her perch.
"Teagan. Her name's Teagan. And don't worry, I had a thing for her too when I first came here. Too bad she doesn't swing that way." She answered down to me.
"Oh... so you're..." I started.
"Pansexual." She finished for me.
"Oh so you're into-"
"If you make a crack about me getting turned on by cookware I swear to god I'll run you over." She interrupted me.
"... Fair enough." I said, and made my way to the inn door and up to my room.
That night I forgot all about sightseeing in Romania, instead I spent all night thinking about how I was going to get that Teagan girl back. Once I came up with an idea I called Michelle and got her to tell me what time the girl got off work. Which was surprisingly easy and when I asked why she said, "Oh I'm not worried. You couldn't hurt that chick if you wanted to."
That evening I was waiting outside the pub near the back entrance with the scariest mask I was able to find at a local party store. Once I saw her walk through the back door I put the mask on and hid around the corner.
"RAGLE FRAGGLE!!" I screamed as I jumped out in front of her.
"AHH! Oh my god! Why would you do this?!" She shouted at me as she stiffened up like a board.
"Because I hate spiders!" I proclaimed, yanking off the mask before tossing it into her hands and bouncing my way out of the alley, laughing the whole way.
"UGH!" I heard her groan from behind me as I left, inflating my sense of accomplishment as the mask she had just thrown passed by my head.
The next morning I decided I'd go back to the pub and sit at one of her tables, just to really rub it in. "To the pub! I have business there!" I instructed Michelle when she asked me what I wanted to do that day.
"Ok... I'm not sure what that's supposed to mean but at least you don't seem so glum anymore." She said, taking her place in the driver's seat of the carriage.
"Hello! Welc-" The Teagan girl's eyes narrowed at me as she stopped mid sentence.
"This is your table right?" I asked, sitting down at the same one as before.
We got the same drink as before but I could tell she didn't have the same energetic charm as last time when she took our order and brought them to us. It took a few minutes of this before Michelle spoke up and asked, "Something going on here I don't know about? Teagan seems to be a little bent out of shape about something."
"Why would you say that?" I asked her in response.
"Well... because that." She said, pointing in the direction of the bar where Teagan stood behind it, the fingertips of her tented hands resting just under her nose, glaring at me through narrowed eyes.
"Jesus..." I whispered to myself. Then I explained what I did with the mask the night before.
"Oh god... I thought you were going to ask her out or something." She laughed. "You done fucked up kid. It's been nice knowing you." She added, patting me on the shoulder.
"W-what is that supposed to mean?" I asked, glancing back over towards the bar, where Teagan was still glaring at me like a snake eyeing a mouse.
"You'll probably find out before long... You poor bastard." She giggled, and that's the last she spoke of it.
I barely got any sleep that night for wondering what kind of horrible things this Teagan might try to do to me. Maybe she new some local street tuffs and was planning to have them rough me up or something. All the thoughts of terrible possibilities put my paranoia on edge, so I made sure to keep my door locked and my windows latched tight.
The next morning I made sure to look out the window to see if anyone might be waiting for me to leave the inn, but the coast looked clear. So I opened the door to hurry down stairs and get to the carriage as fast as possible, but when I tried to walk through the door I felt something solid and... sticky on my face. My feet flew out from under me as my top stopped but my bottom kept moving. And before I knew what happened I was laying on the ground with a face full of clear packing tape and not a single molecule of oxygen left in my lungs.
The following prank war that spanned the next several days consisted of everything from stink bombs to fire cracker booby traps to her somehow getting a mousetrap into my shoe in my room before I put it on and me even managing to super glue her hand to one of the serving trays at the pub.
"HARDWARE STORE!" I barked at Michelle as I stomped towards the carriage, still trying to wipe the remnants of her most recent prank off my face.
I was about to use everything my grandad taught me about special effects... for evil. I bought all kinds of tools and materials. Something I'm sure he would have been perfectly fine with, knowing him.
Hours later it was dark, and had you been in Romania on that particular evening, you would have found me crouched behind some trash cans near the back door to the pub where Teagan worked. Before long I saw the door open and Teagan's head poke out through the small crack and cautiously check to see if the cost was clear.
"Clever girl..." I whispered to myself, my hand tightening around the actuator I was holding, its cord leading across the pavement to a contraption hidden under a large black hefty bag. "But not clever enough."
Once the door was all the way open I hit the switch which caused the compressed air container to purge all its contents at once, basting the 20lbs of old raw fish and floor sweepings I had collected from local shops during the day straight at her... Admittedly much harder than I thought it would... It knocked her clear off her feet.
"OH SHIT! I AM SO FUCKING SORRY!!" I yelped as I took off running over to where she was laying face up on the ground. "Are you... Pkm... Mmm... Hmmhmm.... Are you ok?" I asked, choking back a chuckle from looking down at her, covered in rotting fish and little chunks of loose fat.
She just glared back up at me, that is until a fish that got half splattered, half stuck on the wall above the door slid off and smacked her dead in her face. "You will want to be running..." She growled through gritted teeth, her eyes still squinting from the fish juice.
"I want to... What?" I asked back.
"I will be breaking your legs now." She responded, reaching a hand back into the door and around the corner, retrieving a wooden baseball bat and.... snapped it over her knee like a twig!
"SHIT!" I screamed, breaking into a full sprint out of the back alley and into the street. I darted in and out of alleys and nooks and backyards until I couldn't hear her footsteps behind me anymore, finally stopping in a small courtyard with a little pond in the middle.
As I bent over, my hands on my knees, gasping for air I heard a voice. "FOUND YOU!" Before being knocked flying into the pond. I felt the cold water rush over me before another body followed into the water right behind me.
My head broke the surface first as I came up gasping for breath and coughing on pond water. "What the hell just happened?!" I choked, looking around the dimly lit courtyard. Right then Teagan's head splashed up out of the dark surface of the water as she wrapped her hands around my neck.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?! Fishes and meats?! What kind of sick person makes rotten meat cannon?!" She shouted as she shook me back in forth in the pond. Then... suddenly, I felt a warmth through the icy water. I opened my eyes and... She was kissing me.
"W-what the hell?!" I stammered once she pulled her face back away from mine. "Aren't you going to break my legs?..."
"No, you are too cute. I would be such waste to kill you." She said.
"Wait... Kill? I thought you were just going to break my legs." I questioned.
"Yes, this is what I say, break your legs. Where did you hear this kill from?" She replied.
"YOU JUST SAID... Never mind. Can we get out of this pond before we freeze?" I asked.
We both climbed out and I noticed she was already shivering so I suggested we go back to my room at the inn to let her clothes dry off, since she wouldn't tell me where she lived.
Once we got to the inn I gave her a towel and some of my sleeping clothes to wear while they dried. ALTHOUGH I'm pretty sure she didn't really need them and would have been fine sitting around bare ass naked because she just started undressing to dry off right in front of me.
"Ah-oh god! I'll be outside! Let me know when you're done!" I squeaked as I bolted out the door and into the hall. "So... you really think I'm cute?" I asked as I propped myself up against the door.
"Well yes of course. In the same way as a small puppy who chew all your shoes." She answered from inside the room. "For why do you ask?"
"Oh, never mind it's stupid." I said.
"Probably, but I would still like to know." She insisted.
"Ughhh, ok. Well... it's just that I've never actually... had a girlfriend. I was kinda starting to think it was because I was ugly or something." I admitted. As soon as I did the door swung open revealing Teagan in nothing but the tshirt I left out for her. "Are... you wearing anything under that?" I asked nervously before she grabbed my face in both her hands.
"You are not ugly! What a terrible thing to say!" She exclaimed. "You are very handsome man! I like you since I meet you!"
"Wait, really? Then w-what was with the fake spider in my drink?!" I stammered.
"That is how I... How do you say... Show affection. I torment." She explained as innocently as you could imagine.
"Tor-you mean tease?" I asked.
"Oh yes tease. This is the word. I tease." She responded.
"Ok... Now I feel really bad about the rotten meat cannon..." I mumbled to myself as I flopped down onto the bed.
"You really never have girlfriend?" She asked, sitting on the bed next to me.
"Nah, I tried but I get really nervous when I talk to them and just start saying stupid stuff about monster movies." I explained.
"You like monsters?" She asked, shifting in her spot a little. "What kinds do you like?"
From there we spent what felt like forever talking about monsters and movies and my granddad and how I ended up in Romaina, and she told me about living in a caravan on the edge of town. We talked and talked until she put her hand on top of mine, leaned in VERY close, and whispered into my ear,
"I have never had... Um, 'boyfriend' either."
She pulled her head back just enough so I could look into her just insanely bright, emerald eyes. You guys just can't imagine it. Right then, looking at me like she was, she was just... sunset at the end of a perfect day beautiful.
And to sum up what happens next, well... First time for everything I guess.
I woke up the next morning to an empty bed and an empty room, except for a note that read, "I am thinking you kind find excuse to come to pub today. ~T"
With a big grin on my face I folded the note up and stuffed it in my pocket once I was finished dressing, which was something I had to do because I was still naked from the night before. Ayeee. What can I say, from this point the story goes from being about a boy to being about man, kinda.
After that I strutted down stairs like I was Don Juan himself and went outside to wait for Michelle and her carriage. But after a little while it became obvious that she was running late. So I decided to walk across the street and wait on a bench until she showed up. It was as I was crossing the street that I saw a man's hat get blown off my the wind, and as he hurriedly chased after it into the road he didn't notice the large utility truck headed straight for him.
"MILO! MILO!! HOLY SHIT HOW ARE YOU ALIVE!!" I heard a voice that sounded like it was off in the distance. "Dude! Dude wake up!" The source of the voice started tapping on my face.
I opened my eyes to see Michelle standing-er, kneeling over me with a look of mortified terror on her face. I looked around and realized I wasn't on the street anymore but was instead half way in the gutter on the other side of the road from where I started.
"What the hell?" I mumbled up at Michelle.
"YOU JUST GOT SLAMMED BY THAT TRUCK!! Oh and you totally saved that old guy. His knee's a little skinned but it's better than what that truck would have done." She told me.
"Oh... Oh yeah. I guess I moved before I had time to think." I said, trying to collect my thoughts. "Oh god... I think I peed a little... No wait, I peed a lot. I shit a little." I groaned trying to get to my feet.
"Don't get up!" She exclaimed, trying to keep me from dragging myself of the ground. "The ambulance is on the way. I don't even know how you're breathing right now."
"What are you-" I tried to ask, but she just pointed in the direction of the truck, which now had its whole front end dented in and what appeared to be blood running down parts of it. "Oh holy shit was that me?! Is that mine?! That's not pee! It's blood all over me!" I shrieked looking down at myself for the first time. "Oh god! Where is it coming from?! I can't find anything!" I yelled, wiping blood away to try and find the source of the bleeding, but I wasn't able to.
"Oh please god tell me it's not coming out of my-" About that time the ambulance had pulled up with the siren blaring. And I spent the next few minutes being... examined my the medics, who apparently had the same suspicion about the... origin of the blood that I did. And after an embarrassing few more minutes of them... verifying that I was ok, they said something to me in Romanian which I choose to believe was "Congratulations. You aren't bleeding out your butthole."
"They couldn't find anything." I told Michelle, shrugging as I climbed out of the back of the ambulance. And that's when I caught a glimpse of a near folded in half traffic sign.
"Someone who saw it said you hit that after the truck ran into you. They said your back wrapped around it so far you basically kneed yourself in the back of the head." Michelle explained.
"That can't be right. I'd be paralyzed or dead right now if that happened." I argued.
"You should be dead anyway. That truck was moving way too fast to begin with. The impact by itself should have killed the shit out of you." She said with a noticeable amount of concern in her voice.
"Well, since I'm not dead yet, Imma go get some non-bloody clothes on and then we're going to the pub." I proclaimed, almost skipping into the inn. "You ok old timer?" I asked the man who I pushed out of the way, handing him his hat that I picked up off the ground before walking over. I don't think he understood me, but he took my hand in his and gave me a big smile and a slow nod. That said enough for me.
"You got lucky last night."
"I-What?! Who told you that?!" I barked at Michelle before I climbed into the carriage.
"You just got mauled by a huge truck and you still got that shit eating grin on your face. Getting lucky with a girl like Teagan is about the only thing I know of that can pull a grin out of someone's ass after something like that." She replied with a twisted grin of her own.
"I... Shut up. Just take me to the pub." I commanded.
"To see Teagan?..." She asked jokingly.
"Mmmmmm...." I grumbled, sliding down in my seat.
"I mean not for nothing, but you kinda just got bitch slapped by a giant metal missile and don't have scratch to show for it. Do you really think a pub is the place to be right now?" She asked, leaning down from the top to peek through the window.
"I just got bitch slapped by a giant metal missile and don't have a scratch to show for it. A pub is EXACTLY the place I need to be right now." I insisted.
"MILO!" An excited voice called as soon as we walked into the pub. I felt my whole body tingle as Teagan ran up and wrapped her arms around me.
"God you're strong for your size..." I huffed once she let me go and gave me a chance to hug her back.
"Milo got hit by a truck." Michelle just blurted out.
"WHAT?!" Teagan gasped in response. "What you mean hit?!"
"SHHH SHUT UP!" I hissed, trying to cover her mouth.
"He got hit-"
"It should have-"
"DON'T YOU DO IT!"
"He got hit by a huge utility truck and wrapped around a street sign. It should have killed him." She finally said after holding my hands down and putting her hand over my mouth to keep me silent long enough to speak. "EWW! Did you just lick my hand you gross little weasel?!"
"I'm fine though." I tried to reassure Teagan after seeing the look of worry on her face, but it only seemed to make it worse when she heard that I didn't have so much as single bruise on me. "Is everything ok?"
"Oh... YES! Let me sit you at a table." She said, shaking herself out of it.
A few minutes later Teagan was walking up to our table with our drinks, but this time she also brought a plate with food on it, which she sat in front of me. "Oh, I didn't or-"
"No I know this." She interrupted me. "You have been through very much today. You need to eat something." She insisted, pushing the plate closer to me.
"Oh, well ok I guess. I was feeling kinda hungry anyway." I said, taking a potato wedge off the plate and cramming it into my mouth.
"So Teagan... I couldn't help but notice you've never taken a sick day." Michelle spoke up before she could leave the table, causing her to hesitate. "As a matter of fact I don't think I've ever seen so much as a tiny booboo on that perfect skin of yours. What do you think about that?"
"..... I am very healthy woman." Teagan answered. "Good immune system."
"Must be if you're even immune to scratches and bruises..." Michelle said, narrowing her eyes.
"I am always being careful." Teagan responded.
"Mhmm... Very careful, I'd say." Michelle spoke almost under her breath. Then she said something in Romanian that I couldn't understand, but it made Teagan look really uneasy before she turned and went back to work at another table.
"Hey what gives?" I asked her.
"Huh? Oh, nothing. I guess I'm just salty that you got to her before I did." She explained. "Been barking up that tree for ages."
"Oh, ok." I mumbled, stuffing a few more potato wedges into my face hole.
"You're really not giving a lot of though about just getting bow-tied around a street sign, are you?" Michelle asked, a hint of astonishment in her voice.
"Nah... Don' wanna loo' the gif' horf in the mouf'." I sputtered, some potato falling out of my full mouth.
"Hmmm..." She hmmm-d, narrowing her eyes at me. "Ok, I guess. Whatever, do you. You seem a lot more cheerful at least."
"Yeah, I just survived getting slammed by a truck. Who wouldn't be happy about that?" I asked.
"That's not what I meant." She said, glancing over at Teagan. "Getting to know each other a little better after hours?" She asked with a smirk.
"Wha'? Oh I um, we uh... Mind your own business!" I said, choking down a mouth full of food.
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2020.12.04 03:27 whosthatgirl 33[F4M] Seattle/PNW
33 [F4M] Seattle: Curves, Curls and Charisma seeks handsome fella for social distance dating.
I’m a 33F living in Seattle. 5’7, size 12, stacked in the chest, in possession of a fantastic smile and working on my guns. Brunette by nature with short curls often dyed fashion colors. Several tattoos mostly not visible in professional clothes. (Happy to provide a pic in DM’s if we click).
I’m a social worker at a major area hospital. I got my masters in 2014 at UW and have worked at several hospitals in the region. I love it! Considering a PhD at forty but want to knock out some other life goals.
I’ve had a wedding but never a marriage license. After having been in LTR’s most of my life I took 2 years off to be single and self reflect.
I have no children but would like to consider them in the future. I live in a large house with two of my favorite people. No personal pets, but we have a house cat named Rupert whom I adore. I love dogs and grew up with horses. Looking forward to having a furry friend of my own someday!
I’m an extrovert and I love to have fun. I go to Burning Man (not this year!) and sit on a board of directors for my local chapter. I play disc golf (badly). I have a steam and blizzard account that I play on PC. I like some long form board games but likely don’t want to start a DND campaign.
I bake, cook, and ferment in my free time. Dinner parties forever!
I like to camp, road trip, hike and sometimes backpack (I’m a little intimidated). I sit with a Buddhist sangha and am working on my meditation practice every week.
I’m a voracious reader and am currently getting through Samantha Irby’s new collection of essays.
Social justice and an commitment to those ethics are important to me. I do/will/am protesting with some frequency to abolish the youth jails and make sure Mayor Durkan knows BLM.
I’m looking for a local gentleman who is interested in adventure, commitment, and investing in the people and communities around him. I’m hoping my cutie bae has done his own internal work and can commit to fair and feminist emotional labor in meaningful relationships. Extroverts tend to suffer me and my energy best, but one of my best long term relationships was with a sweet, bookish introvert.
Please have a career (pandemic pause ok ofc), a good heart, a healthy libido, a taste for curves and a fair and faithful demeanor.
Please be civic responsibility minded, a feminist and someone who has never with seriousness uttered the phrase “all lives matter”.
Looking forward to hearing from you in my DM’s. If you’ve read all this, tell me your favorite media of 2020: song, movie, book, article etc.
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2020.12.04 03:21 gonavy27 My city has been cut off from the world and overrun with monsters. I have a set of rules to stay alive. Rule #9 sounds stupid, but trust me, a blueberry can prevent a horrific death
Me again. A lot has happened since I last
broke through the barrier of shitty hellscape internet and shared my life with all of you. Want some highlights? Too bad, you’re getting them anyway.
First off, I tried a couple of the things that were suggested to me by you guys. In no particular order, here’s how they went:
A) I broke into a Super Walmart (though really, I’d argue it’s not breaking in if the automatic doors still work and let me waltz right through) and managed to find one of those giant LED spotlights things you can put out on your lawn. Intended to be for like, Deck the Halls
level Christmas light displays I assume. I set it all up with red and green lasers and put it out on the lawn of a random house. Then I purposefully taunted a pack of Calebs and got them to chase me to the house. And, well, it went great; I turned on the lasers, the Calebs got festive Christmas lasers to the eyes every way they turned, it was beautiful.
Only one problem: turns out my lovely light show also attracted a herd of Brents (more on them later). It got messy real fast and I almost didn’t live to see another day. There were explosions involved. So, probably not a great long-term plan if I want to survive.
B) I tried to dig under the dome. No, really. I grabbed a shovel and worked for hours, with periodic monster-avoidance breaks. And I have bad news: the dome extends underground. Or at least some element of it does. Because I kept hitting what felt like a solid concrete wall with my shovel once I reached where the dome would be. I dug so much I almost passed out (not my best move – I’d literally be a free monster lunch). But as far as I could go down, the dome went down too. So, wasn’t an easy overlooked escape like I hoped.
C) I searched for one of those high-powered lasers teachers use. No luck yet. I broke into an office supply store (that
one was actually breaking in – like, I literally broke a window and climbed through it), and scoured as many shelves as I could before a table of food appeared behind me, at which point I realized I should get going, since I was not
in the mood to deal with an Ashley. But I didn’t find any of those nifty lasers, so I guess I’ll keep looking.
And there you have it. Ingenious ideas, really, and I salute you for them. I was real eager to try them, and even more hopeful that they’d work. They didn’t, obviously, but that’s no one’s fault, except maybe Caleb’s. Fuck Caleb.
Something else happened, too, which is what’s really been keeping me busy. Y’all aren’t ready for this. Are you sitting down? Maybe you should sit down, because I’m about to blow your mind.
I. SAW. ANOTHER. HUMAN.
Yes, that’s right. I saw another human! I’m not the last one.
What a fucking relief. Let’s be honest, if I’m the best my city had to offer, humanity’s in trouble. But I’m not! Not yet, anyway.
It was about a week ago; right after I’d fled from the office supply store to avoid an Ashley encounter, actually. The sun was setting, and Mr. Bailey was perched on my shoulder as I walked home. I was a little disappointed about my lack of new laser pointers, but I’d also found some nice box cutters while I was there, which kind of made up for it. Hey, they’re not the best weapon, but they’ll do in a pinch.
And that’s when I saw her. Well, I saw the laser first. From behind a corner of a building up ahead of me, about two blocks away, a Caleb stumbled out of a back alley, shrieking its horrible shriek, a red laser aimed directly at its eye. I just stood there, my heart pounding, because let’s be real: it couldn’t see me anyway with the laser burning its eyeholes, and I really wanted to see the source of the laser, since it might be another human, and another human would mean: 1) I wasn’t the last of a decimated species in the ruins of a city, and 2) the other human was also capable enough to have figured out the laser trick.
Still screaming, the Caleb fell to its knees, and as soon as it went down, a person dashed out of the alley and just fucking annihilated
the monster. I almost felt bad for it…but not quite. The person had what appeared to be an axe, and they swung it first into the Caleb’s chest, knocking it forcefully onto its back, and then repeatedly onto the Caleb’s neck, somehow still managing to keep the laser directed at its eye the whole damn time.
Did this person have three arms? (No). I don’t know how it was possible, but within seconds, the Caleb’s head had come clean off, and I watched in shock – and yes, definitely awe – as it rolled over the curb, smoke still curling up and drifting into the sky from its obliterated eyesockets.
And then it got better, because the person looked up and saw me. And it was a girl, probably somewhat close to my age, though from two blocks away and without having seen another human in months, who was I to tell? Mr. Bailey started purring on my shoulder, which I took as a sign. I could have a friend again! I mean, I love Mr. B with all my heart, but even the best cat in the whole entire world isn’t the same as another person to talk to, and I think my reflection was getting tired of hearing the same shit from me all the time.
I was about to open my mouth to call out to her when she simply raised up a hand, flipped me off, and ran away.
Not what I expected. I sputtered for a moment, confused, until Mr. Bailey meowing in my ear and digging his claws into my shoulder brought me back to focus: I had to go after her! That’s what heroic people in movies do, isn’t it?
Also, guys, I’m just so fucking lonely. That’s the real reason.
I chased after her, but damn, she was fast. Or maybe she knew this part of the city better than I did, because I had
ventured slightly out of my usual zone of operation to go to that supply store. Or maybe I just haven’t run in a while (I’ll admit I haven’t). Mr. B, like the champion he is, somehow managed to hold on, although it wasn’t for lack of claws. Following her was exhausting; I caught a few glimpses of her green jacket or of her hair whipping behind her as she turned corners, but that’s as close as I got.
At least, until she turned into a long, dark alley behind a restaurant, and I thought I had her, since it was a dead end. But false confidence is a bitch. Suddenly she just…vanished. It was dark, so I couldn’t really see where she’d gone. I figured there must have been a secret door or something in this alley somewhere, maybe even leading to wherever she was making her home. I didn’t have a flashlight with me, since I’d planned on being home before dark, and I didn’t think my lasers would be sufficient as a search tool. Plus, I still did want to be back before dark (at night is when the monsters are most dangerous: they can still see you, but you can’t see them) and if I left now, I might be able to make it.
So I turned around and walked towards the entrance of the alley, promising myself I’d pay attention to the route on my way home so I could come back in the daylight. Daydreaming about talking to another human again, I almost didn’t notice that Mr. B had jumped down and come to a halt by my leg, hissing his cute little head off, until it was too late.
What I did notice was that it had suddenly got a hell of a lot darker in front of my face, even though the sun was still setting. It was an unnatural
darkness, if you catch my drift. I realized just in time, and as I pulled out my knife, I started chanting, “Blueberry, blueberry, blueberry, blueberry, blueberry!”
Apparently the darkness had nearly enveloped me before I’d noticed it, because I watched in horror and relief as the black clouds immediately recoiled backwards from around me as soon as I started my recitation. Following the path of their hasty retreat with my eyes, I saw exactly what I’d expected standing six feet away from me: a Dylan. Its deadly dark fog was returning to the usual post surrounding its body, and it was covering its ears and glaring at me with its lantern eyes, all while I continued to repeat, “Blueberry, blueberry, BLUEBERRY,”
as forcefully as I could.
It occurs to me that right about now I probably lost you. You’re reading that last part and thinking, is he having a breakdown?
But I assure you, I am not. Let me fill you in on Rule #9, and hopefully you’ll stop questioning my sanity. (For now, it’s intact. No, really. Promise).
Rule #9: If you see a figure made of shadow or if it gets dark unnaturally fast, start saying “blueberry” and don’t stop saying it. Seriously, you can’t use the word “blueberry” too much.
That rule exists because of Dylans. Long story short, they’re creepy motherfuckers. They’re tall, dark figures that mostly look like an angry shadow come to life. The only color on them is their eyes: glowing yellow, shining out of the inky darkness like nightlights. They are always surrounded by thick black fog, and by black, I mean, obsidian.
You can’t see worth shit
through those clouds. It swirls around them; I think it may be a living entity of its own. Or maybe just an extension of the Dylan itself.
I won’t get into too many details of how I figured out Rule #9, but here’s the fairly abridged version: when I first encountered a Dylan, its fog reached my arm before I realized what was happening, and where it touched me, my skin immediately began to blister before my eyes. Goddamn, did it hurt. In a matter of seconds, it looked like it was boiling, and it was horrifying. So, I just started running.
The Dylan and its fog chased me, of course, and they were fast. I had to find a way to stop it, and soon; my knife and lasers had done nothing. Also, my vision was blurring from the pain in my arm, and based on my high school experiences, I was pretty sure it had given me a chemical burn, meaning that cloud was acidic. And if it was acidic, and if it touched more of me, my entire body would blister and burn until my skin actually did melt off and my entire body slowly, painfully…dissolved. (Thanks so much, Caleb, for that chemistry experiment disaster junior year, by the way. Fuck you).
Anyway, I ended up in a toy store. Don’t judge my choices; it was the closest building. As I felt burning on my neck – the clouds were almost overtaking me – I reached an aisle consisting entirely of talking dolls. You know, the kind that cry and laugh or say “Feed me!” or some shit like, “I love playing with you!”
And, well, I was desperate, and my defenses hadn’t worked, and I’m a bit of an idiot, and the Dylan was quite literally breathing down my neck, so I started grabbing dolls and throwing them at it. Better than nothing, right? One after the other, each of them shrieking something different or giggling creepily or sobbing invisible tears. It would have been hilarious, if I wasn’t terrified of melting in acid.
I don’t think it would have worked, except that by some miracle, I happened to grab one that cheerily said, “Hi, my name is Blueberry Cobbler!” (No, I’m not shitting you. That was its name, apparently. Maybe it was a Strawberry Shortcake rip-off? I have no idea).
And yes, you guessed it: on the word ‘blueberry,’ the clouds retreated just a bit, and for a second I saw the Dylan cover its ears and glare at me, those lantern eyes narrowing to slits. In a show of exceedingly quick thinking for me, I put two and two together, and as the clouds started to rush back, I hesitantly tried it myself, praying my last ditch idea would work, shouting “BLUEBERRY!”
It did the same thing. I swear I almost got down on my knees and kissed the floor in thanks. I was saved! With the weirdest tactic in history ever used against a monster, ever, but I wasn’t going to ask questions. So I just kept repeating the word “blueberry” over and over, and its fog stayed tightly wrapped around only its own body, and it came no closer as it desperately covered its ears.
The story’s less interesting after that. Turns out they don’t like direct sunlight, which is why they often show up as the sun is setting. Nighttime is the worst; honestly, I said before that it’s not great to be out at night because monsters can see you, but you can’t see them. That’s true; the main reason, though, is Dylans. It’s fucking impossible to see them in the dark, since they basically are
the darkness, and they could wrap you in acid clouds – and, I don’t know, eat your half-melted pile of goo body? I don’t actually know what they do with their victims, but I assume they eat them, since I’ve never found an acid-mutilated body – before you have time to get out a single “blueberry.”
I actually did guess that light would hurt them, because light and darkness are natural enemies, you know? Seemed kind of obvious, and sometimes, when you’re lucky, the obvious answer is the right one.
So I basically just chanted “blueberry, blueberry, blueberry,” over and over until dawn broke, and then I slowly lured it out of the store as the sun came up. I got to watch as the rays of morning sunlight hit it dead on: the Dylan and its black fog instantly sizzled and dissolved into what amounted to black sand. I rubbed my shoe in it, and then I left.
Back to my most recent encounter. Sorry to disappoint, but I did much the same thing. Unfortunately, when you meet a Dylan, it’s a game of endurance. Either you manage to stay up all night mindlessly chanting “blueberry” until it doesn’t sound like a word anymore (which happens about five minutes in, so it’s a long
night), or you fall asleep, or lose your voice. If you do that, it’s game over for you; the Dylan will be on you in an instant, and all you’ll see is those glowing nightlights for a few seconds before, presumably, you die of chemical burns or your skin melts off, whichever comes first.
I leaned against the wall in the alley and said “blueberry” all night. What a fantastic life I lead. When it got dark, I walked and stood under a street lamp so that I could see at least a few feet around me. I didn’t sit down, because I was afraid I’d doze off if I did. Mr. Bailey, the good friend that he is, didn’t sleep either; he wound around my ankles at first, chirping, as if to reassure me he was still there, and eventually he sat by my leg like a little furry statue, staring intently at the Dylan’s golden eyes. I was grateful for the comfort.
See, here’s the thing: I don’t know how Dylans work, exactly. Your guess is as good as mine as to why the word “blueberry” holds them off but also prevents them from leaving before the sun rises. Somehow they can do nothing but cover their ears and glare. Is it a curse word or some kind of magic spell in their language? Is it a linguistic trap, somehow? Does it hurt them, control them, both? Most of all, is there a way to develop or expand upon it so that it kills
them? It would be nice not to have to pull an all-nighter and lose my voice every time I encounter one.
I sure as hell don’t know. I’d like to find out someday, mostly because I’d like to be able to off those fuckers in a more timely fashion. But at least for now, I have something that lets me survive them, even if I sound like a complete fool doing it.
In the morning, right before the sun came up, I stepped closer to the Dylan, my voice nearly cracking as I continued to repeat the mantra. It glared at me with those narrow yellow eyes, and since I couldn’t say anything else besides “blueberry,” I settled for flipping it the bird. With both middle fingers. I hope it got the message.
Rather anticlimactically, I watched as the dark shadow creature and its horrific dark acid cloud collapsed to black dust in front of me. I sighed in relief, and Mr. B meowed and jumped up onto my shoulder.
Then I heard a terrible half-growl, half-screech from around the corner and seconds later saw a Caleb sprinting at me. Just another Monday morning, you know?
Anyway, that was last week, and obviously I survived, since I’m here giving my updates to all of you. In summary: don’t fuck with Rule #9 unless you want to die a terrible, acid-driven death. Talking all night is a lot harder than you think. I still have a chemical burn on my arm and the back of my neck; the skin is all blackened there now. Real great.
Best of all, I found another human, and I’m determined to meet her. No luck yet. In case you were wondering, the door in the alley led to a basement that was empty except for a single slip of paper and a small vial filled with black sand sitting together on the floor. On the paper was written this: I’m sure your voice would be pleasant if you knew any words other than ‘blueberry.’ Nice work, though. Enjoy the souvenir.
Then, in smaller letters at the bottom: Don’t let this go to your head. You’re okay, but the cat’s a hell of a lot cuter.
I mean, she’s right. Mr. B is the cutest.
Now I have
to find her, monsters be damned. It’s kind of nice to have a goal besides simply surviving. We’ll see how it goes. If nothing else, I have a snazzy vial of black sand that used to be a Dylan before killing it by chanting ‘blueberry’ for twelve hours.
What a world I live in where that
sentence makes sense.
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